[IT'S BEEN A HOT MINUTE...]

IT'S BEEN A YEAR... YES, AN ENTIRE YEAR SINCE I'VE POSTED A BLOG.

IT'S BEEN A VERY BUSY YEAR. SMALL RECAP... LAST I WROTE WAS NOV 2011, AND SINCE THEN, JOSH PROPOSED IN JUNE, WE GOT MARRIED IN OCTOBER, AND CAE TURNED 3 IN DECEMBER! BUSINESS IS BOOMING, AND WE ARE GEARING UP FOR HOPEFULLY A HOUSE AND A SECOND CHILD THIS YEAR. VERY VERY EXCITING!

HERE'S A SMALL PREVIEW:

IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO KEEP THIS AS A FITNESS BLOG... SO LETS STICK WITH THAT.

IVE HAD SOME SET BACKS. MY LAST "RUN" WAS ON THANKSGIVING, AND I DEFINITELY DIDN'T RUN THE ENTIRE 5K TURKEY TROT. HAVEN'T RUN SINCE. HOWEVER, THIS WHOLE YEAR, MY KNEES WERE NOT VERY HELPFUL OR COOPERATIVE.THEY HAD GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE, EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHAT MY ACTIVITY LEVEL WAS, THEY'D BE SORE AND HURTING. EVERYDAY. NO FUN.

SO I FINALLY WENT TO A PHYSICAL THERAPIST WHO IS WONDERFUL AND IS GETTING ME BACK ON TRACK TO BE ABLE TO RUN AGAIN. EXERCISES UPON EXERCISES! OBVIOUSLY, I AM VERY WILLING TO STAY ON TRACK AND BE A GOOD LIL STUDENT WHO DOES THEIR HOMEWORK.

APPARENTLY IT WAS MY HIPS THIS WHOLE TIME! THE HIP MUSCLES WEREN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO KEEP MY FEMUR FROM ROTATING AS I BEND MY KNEE, CAUSING MY KNEE CAP TO RUB ON THE COURSE PART OF THE BONE, NOT ALONG THE SMOOTH TRACK. I HAVE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT ON THURSDAY, AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO START JOGGING AGAIN. SHE SAID STARTING OUT WITH 2-3 MIN (NOT MILES LOL), AND I COULDN'T BE MORE ECSTATIC TO START! I'LL TAKE IT!

JUST A SMALL UPDATE FOR NOW. WILL BE SURE TO WRITE MORE ;D

J

[DOUBLE OR NOTHIN!]

I WAS SITTING AT MY DESK... AROUND 6:30 AM... COFFEE ON MY DESK, SLEEPING BABY, STARTED WORK...

AND THEN... MY NEIGHBOR, LISA, WALKED DOWN THE HILL IN FRONT OF ME, JUST GETTING BACK FROM HER EARLY MORNING RUN. A COUPLE MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND, CHRIS, SET OUT ON HIS RUN.

WHAT WAS I DOING?

ITS LIGHT OUT. IM MOTIVATED. ALL I COULD THINK WAS "THIS IS HOW TRIATHLETES DO IT."

ITS ALL ABOUT DEMANDING TIME FOR YOURSELF. KEYWORD: DEMANDING. MY YOGA INSTRUCTOR SAYS IT EVERY CLASS: "THANK YOU FOR COMING AND DEVOTING THIS HOUR TO YOURSELF"... MY TIME. I CAN CHOSE TO DO WHATEVER WITH MY "ME TIME" AND I REALLY WANT TO DIVE IN TO BE ACTIVE FOR ME.

I GET TOO WRAPPED UP IN LIFE, AND BY THE TIME I GET HOME IM TOO TIRED OR HAVE NO MOTIVATION.

MAYBE I SHOULD WORKOUT IN THE MORNINGS? MY NEW PLAN, EVEN IF ITS JUST A COUPLE DAYS A WEEK. ITD BE AN AWESOME WAY TO START THE DAY, AND GET IT OVER WITH. NO EXCUSES. I HAVE JOSH IN MY BED TO KICK ME OUT WHEN THE ALARM HITS... WHATS MY EXCUSE? 'IM TIRED...?' NO FLYIN THIS TIME, SUCKER.

THIS WEEK I WAS INSPIRED BY CHRIS AND LISA (THEY ARE HARDCORE. TWO KIDS. AND HAVE BOTH COMPLETE IRONMANS... YES, IRONMANS!). I WANT TO UP THE ANTY (SP?). SO I DID. IN MY OWN WAY. I WORKED OUT 5 TIMES THIS WEEK.

MONDAY: YOGA
TUESDAY: RUN 2 MILES WITH CAE
WEDNESDAY: BIKE 12 MILES, SWIM 1/2 MI
THURSDAY: YOGA
FRIDAY: RUN 5 MILES (SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH NO STROLLER?! HAHA)

WEDNESDAY WAS AWESOME. IT MAKES ME REALLY WANT TO JUST JUMP IN AND DO A SPRINT TRIATHLON (750m SWIM, 20km BIKE, 5k RUN). TOTALLY DO ABLE. THEN I WANT TO WORK UP TO A BIGGER AND BIGGER ONE. MUA HA HA.

FRIDAY WAS ALSO HUGEEE FOR ME! 5 MILES?! I HAVENT DONE THAT IN MONTHS. MY KNEES HAVE REALLY BEEN HURTING LATELY, SO I WAS SOOOO EXCITED TO COME HOME AND BRAG! THEN I WENT FOR THE ICE PACK. (THANKFULLY I DONT REALLY HURT TODAY... A GOOD SIGN INDEED!) I WANT TO DO A COUPLE OF 5 MILE RUNS DURING THE WEEK, AND WORK UP TO AN 8-10 MILE RUN ON THE WEEKENDS AS MY LONG RUN.

THATS MY GOAL. ALONG WITH HOPEFULLY SAVING FOR A ROAD BIKE, SO I CAN GET HARDCORE WITH THAT WITHOUT KILLING MY KNEES.

IM SO EXCITED THIS WEEK! NEXT WEEK I WANT TO KILL IT AND DO THE SAME, BUT INCORPORATE MORNING WORKOUTS... HOPEFULLY DO MY STRENGTH TRAINING THEN. I NEED TO START LOOKING UP SOME LEG WORKOUTS SO I CAN STRENGTHEN MY QUAD MUSCLES SO MY KNEES CAN START LOVING ME AGAIN (AND REWARD ME WITH LONG RUNS!). IM ALMOST TEMPTED TO USE A PERSONAL TRAINER, EVEN IF ITS ONLY A COUPLE OF WORKOUTS. IM PRETTY GOOD AT PUSHING MYSELF (I ACTUALLY PREFER TO WORKOUT ALONE), SO I JUST NEED SOME DIRECTION.

IN OTHER NEWS, MY SUSAN G KOMEN 5K WALK WENT AWESOME! IT WAS SO NICE TO BE OUT THERE WITH MY MOM! I THINK SHE WAS IN UTTER SHOCK ABOUT HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THERE. IT WAS AWESOME. SHE EVEN WANTS TO DO IT NEXT YEAR! YAY MOMMY!

I HAVE ANOTHER 5K ON THANKSGIVING MORNING WITH DARCY. WE DID IT LAST YEAR, AND DECIDED IT HAD TO BECOME TRADITION. THIS YEAR WE ARE DRESSING UP... TURKEY BEANIES AND TUTUS! HAHA IT SHOULD BE AWESOME. IM EXCITED. THIS TIME IM RUNNING IT, AND IM PRETTY EXCITED ;D


I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT WEEK! DREAM BIG!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR "ME TIME'? WHAT DO YOU DEMAND OF YOURSELF? WHAT DO YOU DEMAND OF YOUR TIME? ARE YOU REALLY PUSHING YOURSELF?
OXOX

[I MIGHT TRI IT]

SOOOO LONG TIME NO TALK! SORRY, LIFE HAS BEEN SUPER BUSY. STUFF WITH RYAN, MOVING, HALLOWEEN, MOVING... CLEANING.... PACKING... UNPACKING... YOU GET THE IDEA.

I ACTUALLY DIDN'T GO TO THE GYM VERY MUCH LAST WEEK, SO IM MAKING UP FOR IT THIS WEEK! I NEED TO GET SERIOUSSSSSSS ABOUT MY DIET AND EXERCISE.

LATELY IVE BEEN HAVING A HANKERING TO TRY A TRIATHLON... LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY... IM TALKING ABOUT A HALF TRIATHLON. IN THE FAR FUTURE... WHICH MEANS I WANT TO START TRAINING YESTERDAY. AT THE GYM IVE BEEN DOING WHAT I CALL 'MINI TRIATHLONS' CONSISTING OF A 2 MILE RUN, 6 MILE BIKE, AND A 1/2 MILE SWIM... IN THAT ORDER... OBVIOUSLY I DO IT IN THE WRONG ORDER.... (SUPPOSE TO SWIM, BIKE, RUN)... BUT I DONT WANT TO SWIM, SHOWER, THEN DO THE REST OF MY WORKOUT INSIDE WITH WET HAIR... CALL ME CRAZY. MAYBE IF I WAS TRAINING OUTSIDE.... HAHA. ALRIGHTY...

SO I WANT TO WORK UP TO A HALF TRIATHLON BEFORE I DIE (WHICH IS 1.2MI SWIM, 56MI BIKE, AND 13.1MI RUN) BUT I FIGURED THAT BEFORE I START BECOMING INSANE, I BETTER START WITH A SPRINT (.47MI SWIM, 12.4MI BIKE, AND A 3.1MI RUN) THEN MOVE TO AN OLYMPIC DISTANCE (.93MI SWIM, 24.8MI BIKE, AND A 6.2MI RUN)....

IM STARTING TO GET REALLY EXCITED. IVE BEEN LOVING MY NEW GYM TIME. I NEED TO START A GOOD SCHEDULE THOUGH... KEEP MY YOGA AND STRENGTH TRAINING GOING WHILE DOING ALL THAT FUN CARDIO. THIS TIME IM DOING THINGS RIGHT BY HAVING A REALLY GOOD WELL ROUNDED WORKOUT.

I JUST NEED TO GET BRAVE ENOUGH TO GO OUT AND DO SOME OCEAN WATER SWIMS. WHICH IS KINDA CRAZY FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT. WEIRD TO THINK ABOUT WAVES... CURRENT... FREEZING WATER... AND NOT TO MENTION THERE WAS A SHARK SIGHTING AT BEACONS (ABOUT 200YRDS FROM MY FRONT DOOR).

I NEED A BUDDY. SOMEONE ON MY LEVEL. I KNOW JOSH WOULD DO IT... BUT HE'S ALSO 6'2" AND RUNS MUCH FASTER, IS AN INSANE BIKER, AND I KNOW BECAUSE HE'S SO LONG AND LEAN WOULD KILL IT IN SWIMMING.


... ALRIGHTY WELL THAT WAS FUN.

HOPEFULLY I CAN START POSTING MORE FREQUENTLY NOW THAT THINGS HAVE CALMED DOWN A BIT...

OXOX
J

[SPITE ME OL MIGHTY SPITER!]

ALRIGHTY.... SOAP OPERA CONTINUES....

LAST SATURDAY, RYAN TOOK CAE FOR THE DAY. HE AGREED ON NO OVERNIGHTS FOR AWHILE FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN 'SOBER.'

AROUND 5PM RYAN TEXTS ME 'DONT BOTHER COMING TO GET CAELUM, IM TAKING HIM FOR THE NIGHT' ... MY RESPONSE? 'NO WAY.'

SO AT 7:30PM, JOSH AND I HEADED TO OCEANSIDE TO GRAB CAELUM. WE AGREED TO STAY CALM, AND IF HE DOESN'T COMPLY WE WILL JUST CALL THE POLICE AND LET THEM SORT THINGS OUT.

OF COURSE WE GET THERE AND RYAN DOESN'T OPEN THE DOOR, AND TELLS US TO GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS. SO WE DID. THEY SHOWED UP, AND TOLD US THAT THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE A VISITATION AGREEMENT ON PAPER.

IVE NEVER FELT SO HELPLESS IN MY LIFE. I CRIED. THERE WAS NOTHINGGGG THEY COULD DO?!

SO JOSH BEING ALL SNEAKY DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND SERVE RYAN WITH THE COURT PAPERS FROM A WEEK OR SO AGO, AND TRY TO EGG HIM ON TO THREATEN HIM OR SOMETHING SO WE COULD GET THE COPS BACK....

THIS WORKED.... RYAN CAME TO THE DOOR WITH A SPEARGUN. YES, A SPEARGUN. A BIGGG ONE. MY LIFE HAS TURNED INTO A JERRY SPRINGER EPISODE APPARENTLY. SO I CALLED THE COPS AGAIN, AND THEY HADNT LEFT, SO I RAN DOWNSTAIRS AND GOT THEM IN THE NICK OF TIME.

THEY CAME UPSTAIRS AND HANDCUFFED RYAN, ASKED HIM IF HED THREATENED JOSH... HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY 'NO' ... EVEN THOUGH THE SPEARGUN WAS IN THE DOORWAY.... THE COPS ALSO ASKED IF HE'D BEEN DRINKING... HE SAID YES (!!!!! WTF!). THEY LET ME IN TO GO TO CAELUM WHO WAS HANGING OUT IN HIS PACK N PLAY. WHILE I WAS WITH CAE, THE COPS ASKED JOSH IF HE'D LIKE TO PRESS CHARGES, AND HE SAID NO, ONLY IF WE COULD TAKE CAELUM HOME. RYAN AGREED.

WHAT A NIGHT. SO HAPPY TO HAVE CAE HOME WITH ME. I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAD HAPPENED. JOSH IS SO BRAVE AND AMAZING. DONT KNOW WHAT ID DO WITHOUT HIM.

NOW IM JUST HEARTBROKEN... ALL I CAN DO IS THROW UP MY ARMS.... RYAN HAS LEFT ME ABSOLUTELY ANY CHOICES.... WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? I DONT TRUST HIM, I DONT TRUST HIM WITH CAE... HE NEEDS HELP. OBVIOUSLY HE STILL WANTS TO SEE CAE... BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO RESORT TO SUPERVISED VISITS... I NEED SOMETHING ON PAPER. IM SO STRESSED.

I LOVE JOSH. I LOVE MY MOM. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT! WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS SOMEHOW.


[LATER THAT WEEKEND...]
PUMPKIN PATCH...

MY AWESOME FRIEND, LIZ, COMES INTO TOWN THIS WEEKEND, WE ARE SO EXCITED! THEN NEXT FRIDAY I GET TO GO SEE CHRIS YOUNG AND JASON ALDEAN WITH MY PMB GIRLS... SOOOO EXCITED! THEN THAT NEXT DAY, I GET TO MOVE IN WITH JOSH! SO EXCITED!

I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH TO DO. YIKESSSSS.
WISH ME LUCK!

[INCREDIBLE HULK?]

WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU, MAKES YOU STRONGER. I HOPE BY THE END OF THIS, I AM MRS. INCREDIBLE HULK. I MIGHT LOOK GOOD IN GREEN.... MUA HA HA.

SO HERES THE DEAL...

[IN MY LIFE....]

LAST WEEKEND WAS RYAN'S WEEKEND WITH CAE... AND SATURDAY NIGHT (OCT 1ST) AROUND 7:30 I GOT TWO CALLS FROM A NUMBER I DIDN'T KNOW, SO I DIDN'T ANSWER IT, BUT A LITTLE WHILE AFTER I CHECKED MY VOICEMAIL... THE MESSAGE IS FROM SOME GIRL AND IT WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS...
             "HI JENNIFER, MY NAME IS REBECCA SMITH, AND YOU DONT KNOW BE BUT I KNOW RYAN AND HE WAS COMING UP TO VISIT ME TODAY IN BIG BEAR, AND GOT PULLED OVER. I HAVE YOUR SON. RYAN WAS STOPPED FOR SPEEDING, AND WHEN ASKED IF HE HAD BEEN DRINKING HE SAID 'I DRANK LAST NIGHT, BUT NOT TODAY'... WELLLLL, HE STILL HAD A BLOOD-ALCOHOL LEVEL HIGH ENOUGH TO BRING HIM TO JAIL. AND HE CALLED ME TO PICK UP CAELUM SO HE WOULDN'T GO TO C.P.S. HE IS FINE, BUT PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL BACK."
WTF?!?!?! I CALLED HER RIGHT BACK AND SHE SAID THAT RYAN GOT PULLED OVER AT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON, AND THAT HE SAID HE SHOULD BE OUT IN 5 HRS AND THAT SHE'D CALL THE SHERIFF TO GET AN UPDATE.
I COULDN'T BREATHE! I WAS SHAKING! I CAME IN AND TOLD JOSH AND ALMOST BROKE DOWN. SHE CALLED ME BACK AND SAID THAT RYAN WASNT GOING TO GET OUT UNTIL ABOUT 10AM SUNDAY MORNING, AND AFTER THAT WHO KNEW HOW LONG ITD TAKE TO GET HIS TRUCK OUT OF IMPOUND.... ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS?! SO I TOLD HER ID BE UP IN 3 HRS. SHE ASKED IF I WAS SURE, THAT EVERYTHING REALLY WAS OK, AND OF COURSE I RESPONDED THAT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS SLEEPING TONIGHT ANYWAYS SO IM ON MY WAY.
JOSH IS AMAZING AND DROVE BOTH WAYS UP TO THE TOP OF BIG BEAR AND BACK TO GET CAELUM (MIND YOU HE HAD ALREADY BEEN TO LA THAT DAY AND OUT TO VALLEY CENTER). BEST REUNION EVER. I NEVER KNEW WAS RELIEF WAS UNTIL I HAD THAT BOY IN MY ARMS! I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING AT HIM IN THE BACK OF MY CAR.

FIRST THING MONDAY I WENT TO COURT AND OF COURSE DIDN'T GET THERE EARLY ENOUGH, AND THEY COULDN'T HELP ME WITH A DAMN THING. OUR SYSTEM SUCKS. NOT EVEN EMERGENCY CUSTODY OR ANYTHING. SUCH BS. I WENT STRAIGHT TO CAES DAYCARE AND PICKED HIM UP 3 HRS EARLY BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED THAT RYAN MIGHT GO AND PICK HIM UP. I INFORMED THE DAYCARE OF EVERYTHING, AND THEY SAID LEGALLY THEY COULDNT STOP HIM, BUT THEY COULD CALL ME AND STALL. I WAS TOO PARANOID LOL.

SOOOO I WENT BACK TO COURT TUESDAY AT 6:30AM, RHIANA WAS AMAZING AND CAME OVER TO WATCH CAE AT 6AM (AND WE BOTH KNOW 6AM IS NOT CHILE TIME LOL). 7 HOURS LATER, I GOT A MEDIATION DATE FOR DECEMBER FOR FULL CUSTODY AND VISITATION... SAME SCHEDULE BUT NO OVERNIGHTS UNTIL HE (AND SOMEONE ELSE) CAN PROVE TO ME HE IS A CHANGED MAN.

WHAT A WEEKEND. SUCH BS. IVE NEVER BEEN SO NERVOUS, ANXIOUS, HEARTBROKEN, AND SCARED TO DEATH IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

JUST GLAD I HAVE SO MANY AMAZING PEOPLE TO SUPPORT ME, MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM NOT IN IT COMPLETELY ALONE. SURE IS A LOT EASIER WHEN YOU HAVE AN ARMY BEHIND YOU.

RYANS PARENTS DROVE ALL THE WAY TO BIG BEAR SUNDAY TO GET HIM OUT OF JAIL. AND HIS DAD DROVE HIM BACK UP THERE MONDAY TO GET HIS TRUCK. RYAN SENT ME ABOUT 50 TEXTS SUNDAY AND THEN COMPLETELY STOPPED. HE TEXTED ME YESTERDAY THAT HE LEFT CAES MEDS ON MY DOORSTEP (WE WERE HOME, DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL HE WAS GONE). I FINALLY TEXTED HIM BACK TO TELL HIM THAT WE NEEDED TO TALK. I INFORMED HIM ABOUT COURT. HE AGREED TO HAVE THINGS ON PAPER, AND EVEN AGREED TO NO OVERNIGHTS. HOPEFULLY WE CAN REACH AN AGREEMENT SOON, SO WE DONT HAVE TO WAIT TIL DEC TO GO TO COURT.

WHAT A MESS.

[IN OTHER NEWS....]
IM GETTING MUCH BETTER AT DRIVING MY CAR! WOOT! STILL TERRIFIED OF HILLS SO I PURPOSELY TAKE ROUTES THAT DONT INVOLVE HILLS LOL.

[FOOD]
IVE BEEN TERRIBLE. PROBABLY BECAUSE OF STRESS AND  NOT GOING GROCERY SHOPPING... BUT THOSE ARE NOT EXCUSES. BAD JEN!

[EXERCISE]
I WENT TO YOGA TWICE THIS WEEK... FELT SO GOOD TO CLEAR MY MIND ESP SINCE IVE HAD SOOOOO MUCH ON IT. AND YESTERDAY I WENT RUNNING. THE WEATHER WAS AMAZING, SUN WAS OUT, BREEZE WAS COOL, ... IT IS FALL! ANDDDD I DID 4 MILES! I WAS SOOOOO STOKED! EVEN WHEN I GOT DONE, I FELT LIKE I COULD HAVE GONE FURTHER! I WANT TO GO AGAIN TODAY, BUT I THINK MY KNEES WOULD HATE ME, SO ILL REFRAIN AND GO TUESDAY (MONDAY IS MY YOGA DAY).


ALRIGHTY FOLKS... THATS ABOUT ALL I GOT FOR YA...
IM SUPPOSE TO TALK TO RYAN TODAY TO WORK SOMETHING OUT. I THINK IM GOING TO GO HARD. HE CANT WALK AWAY WITH A SLAP ON THE WRIST. ESP BECAUSE HE HAS TWO DUIS ALREADY... IM SURE HE IS FACING JAIL TIME. SO SCARY. JUST HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF, THAT THESE WERE HIS CHOICES, NOT MINE. I DONT NEED TO FEEL BAD ABOUT ANY OF IT. HE HASN'T LEFT ME WITH OPTIONS... I JUST HATE THAT IT HAD TO ALL COME TO THIS.

STAND FAST MY FRIENDS.

OXOX
J

[LONG TIME, NO POST!]

SORRY FOLKS... WE ALL KNOW 'LIFE HAPPENS' ... BUT WOW, ITS ALMOST BEEN A MONTH SINCE IVE POSTED! SORRY!

ALRIGHTY... THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED... WEEKS AGO... I RAN 4 MILES!!! I WAS ECSTATIC (AS YOU COULD IMAGINE!). THEN TRIED RUNNING AGAIN THE FOLLOWING WEEK, AND MY KNEE WAS NOT HAVING IT, AND ONLY LET ME DO 2 MILES. ITS BEING SO TEMPERAMENTAL. ARG. SO I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN RUNNING, BUT I HAVE BEEN CONTINUING WITH THE GYM! GOT A LITTLE BEHIND LAST WEEK DUE TO BEING UBER BUSY... BUT WE ALL KNOW THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE, SO IM SHAPING UP AND KICKING IT UP A NOTCH THIS WEEK.

[RANDOM NEWS...]
I GOT A NEW CAR! SO RELIEVED TO BE DONE WITH MY JEEP! I LOVE FILLING UP AT THE GAS STATION! $40! SO NICE COMPARED TO $70! HAHA. SO ITS THE SAME YEAR AS MY JEEP (2006) AND HAS 10K MORE MILES, BUT IT SERIOUSLY FEELS BRAND NEW. JOSH DID SOME MATH AND FIGURED ID SAVE ABOUT $700 A YEAR (WITHOUT COUNTING GAS! AND I DOUBLED MY MPG! 16 TO ABOUT 27!) AND THE LENGTH OF MY LOAN IS CUT DOWN BY 2 YEARS! SO ILL BE DONE IN 36 MO. SO STOKED!

DID I MENTION IT IS A STICK? DID I MENTION I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE STICK? SO SAD TO NOTTTT DRIVE YOUR NEW CAR HOME! HAHA. SO JOSH AND I WENT DRIVING THE DAY AFTER AND I DID PRETTY GOOD. THEN HAD TO BE A BIG GIRL AND DRIVE IT 30 MILES TO WORK ALL BY MYSELF WITH NO JOSH SUPPORT! AY CARUMBA. I DEFINITELY FREAKED MYSELF OUT... WELL, I SHOULD SAY PSYCHED MYSELF OUT. I JUST GOT SO NERVOUS WITH CARS AROUND ME! I HATE LEARNING NEW THINGS AND NOT GETTING IT RIGHT AWAY. IM TERRIBLE, I HAVE NO FAITH IN MYSELF, AND GET WAY TOO NERVOUS FOR MY OWN GOOD. WHICH IS NEVER GOOD WHEN YOU ARE LEARNING SOMETHING NEW. OBVIOUSLY I JUST HAVE TO PICK MYSELF BACK UP EVERYTIME I STALL OR BURNOUT... IM STUCK WITH THE CAR, I CAN'T QUIT OR RUN AWAY LIKE A USUALLY DO. THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN REALLY GREAT FOR ME. I LOVE SHOWING MYSELF THAT I CANNNN DO STUFF. ITS A GOOD CONFIDENCE BOOST (I NEED ALL THE BOOST I CAN!). IM CONFIDENT IN THE THINGS I KNOW HOW TO DO... BUT THE THINGS THAT ARE NEW. HA! NO WAY. STILL WORKING ON IT.

I PUT THIS LIL NOTE ON MY CAR TO WARN EVERYONE... FOR STALLING AND BURNING OUT... HAHA. IF YOU CAN'T READ IT, IT SAYS "CHICK LEARNING STICK." WHAT CAN YA DO? MANY PEOPLE HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE ME, IM SURE THERE HAVE BEEN WORST LEARNERS OUT THERE.... AT LEAST I HOPE.

SO YESTERDAY I HAD TO DRIVE A 60 MILE ROUND TRIP TO WORK, AND THEN I WANTED TO GO TO THE GYM AND ALMOST DIDN'T BECAUSE I WAS TOO SCARED TO BE ON EL CAMINO REAL WITH ALL THE TRAFFIC (5PM MIND YOU) AND ALL THE STOP LIGHTS. THEN I HEAR JOSH'S WORDS IN MY HEAD AND DECIDED THAT HE'D KICK MY BUTT IF I LET MY CAR STOP ME FROM GOING PLACES. ITS THE NEW ME. DOING NEW THINGS... GETTING OVER MY FEARS AND SELF CONFIDENT ISSUES... BRING IT ON.

IM ACTUALLY DOING MUCH BETTER EVERY TIME I GET INTO THE CAR. HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF THE WEEK, ILL BE A PRO. UNTIL THEN, IM GOING TO AVOID HILLS. :D

[OTHER RANDOM NEWS]
SATURDAY AFTER BUYING MY CAR... JOSH AND I WENT TO A 70S WHITE TRASH PARTY FOR HIS NEIGHBORS (AND MY SOON TO BE NEIGHBORS) 40TH BIRTHDAY. WE HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST! AND MY TWO WONDERFUL FRIENDS, RHIANA AND VICTORIA, JOINED. WE SERIOUSLY HAD SO MUCH FUN! JOSH AND I DID PRETTY DAMN GOOD WITH THE CORNHOLE TOURNAMENT (MUST HAVE BEEN THE BEER MUA HA HA). HERES SOME PICTURES...

 WE SERIOUSLY HAD SO MUCH FUN. CHRIS AND LISA WENT ALL OUT. THE HAD A HILLBILLY HOT TUB... PICKUP TRUCK WITH A TARP FILLED WITH WATER (HAHA :D) AND THEY EVEN HAD A BAND, KFC CATERED (WHATS MORE WHITE TRASH THAN THAT!?), TWO KEGS, AND AN ENTIRE CORNHOLE TOURNAMENT (3 COURTS) AND ABOUT 24 TEAMS! EVERYTHING WAS PRETTY FREAKIN EPIC. I HAVEN'T  BEEN TO TONS OF THEME PARTIES, BUT HOLY MOLY THIS WAS SERIOUSLY EPIC!

ALRIGHTY, BACK TO THE BLOG...
WELL, I DID SAY IT IS A BLOG ABOUT MY LIFE... SO I GUESS I DONT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY CAR RANT ;D

[FOOD]
IVE BEEN SLACKING ON MY GOOD FOOD LATELY... PROBABLY BECAUSE I SLACKED ON EXERCISE THE LATTER PART OF LAST WEEK. I FEEL LIKE THEY REALLY DO GO HAND AND HAND. SO IM GOING TO IMPROVE THAT THIS WEEK.

[GYM]
WENT TO YOGA YESTERDAY, AND I HAVE TO SAY IT KINDA KICKED MY BUTT. WE DID MORE 'FLOW' YOGA AND I DEFINITELY BROKE A SWEAT! WOOT! IT WAS AWESOME! YOGA ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL SO GREAT! EVEN IF ITS JUST MENTALLY. I THINK IT PUT ME IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND ON MY WAY HOME... THE 10 MILES WITH MY NEW CAR WAS PRETTY DANG FLAWLESS! LOL. MORE YOGA BEFORE DRIVING. :D TODAY IS A NEW DAY... I THINK I MIGHT ATTEMPT A RUN. WISH ME LUCK! MY LAST ONE DID NOT GO WELL AT ALL. I THINK I MIGHT JUST STICK TO TWO MILES FOR A WEEK OR TWO AND WORK UP TO A NEW GOAL... NEED TO BE NICE TO MY KNEES SO THEY WILL RETURN THE FAVOR AND BE NICE TO ME :D


ALRIGHTY FOLKS... I THINK THATS ABOUT ALL I HAVE TO SAY THIS MORNING....
HOPE ALL IS WELL!

OXOX
J

[QUICKY]

SO I RAN YESTERDAY. I DID A LITTLE OVER 2 MILES!!! BUT WHOS COUNTING RIGHT? HAHA. ME! SO STOKED! HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF THE MONTH I HOPE TO BE BACK UP TO 3-4 MILES AND UP FROM THERE! SO EXCITED! IT WAS RATHER WARM YESTERDAY, BUT I DID PRETTY DARN GOOD! I WAS SO SAD THAT I WAS SO TIRED DURING/AFTER... BUT I HAVE TO REMEMBER IM STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING AND TO BE PATIENT. SO ILL TRY TO STICK TO MY EXCITEMENT! YAYYYY!
I ALSO FORGOT ABOUT HOW MUCH BEING OUTDOORS MEANS TO ME! I WAS ON CLOUD NINE RUNNING IN THE SUNSHINE, WIND, WATCHING THE OCEAN.... AWWW ITS GOOD TO BE ALIVE!

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND.... (YES YOU DO HAVE TWO)
I WENT TO THE GYM TODAY AND REALIZED I HAD MISSED IT! SO BETWEEN MISSING RUNNING OUTSIDE, AND MISSING THE GYM AFTER A BUSY NO WORKOUT WEEKEND... I FEEL AS IF I AM FINALLY IN A ROUTINE AND IM HOOKED AGAIN ;D I KNEW ID COME AROUND MUA HA HA
SO AT THE GYM I DID ABOUT 12 MINUTES ON THE ROW MACHINE (CAN'T BELIEVE I USE TO DO 20 MIN! MY ARMS ARE ALREADY SORE!) THEN I MOVED ON TO FREE WEIGHTS. IM TRYING TO STRAY AWAY FROM THE MACHINES AT THE GYM BECAUSE THEY ONLY WORK CERTAIN MUSCLES. WHEN YOU USE FREE WEIGHTS YOU USE ALL OF THOSE STABILIZER MUSCLES THAT NORMALLY WOULDN'T GET USED ON A MACHINE. I DID BICEPS, TRICEPS, AND DELTOIDS. MY ARMS ALREADY FEEL IT. ITS A GOOD SORE, AT LEAST I KNOW IM ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING! HAHA. THEN I MOVED ONTO MY SWIMMING. THIS IS WHERE I FELT IT THE MOST. BETWEEN MY RUN YESTERDAY, ROWING, AND FREE WEIGHTS... MY ARMS AND LEGS WERE MADE OF LEAD. I LOOKED AND FELT LIKE A DROWNING FISH (DO FISH DROWN?), BUT STILL MANAGED 20 MIN.

I KNOW THIS STRENGTH TRAINING WILL GET EASIER.... BUT WOWWY! APPARENTLY LIFTING A 25LB TODDLER MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY WAS ENOUGH OF A WORKOUT. APPARENTLY NOT!

SPEAKING OF TODDLERS.... GUESSSSSS WHAT?! I HAVE GREAT NEWS! I DROPPED CAE OFF AT THE GYM DAYCARE FOR THE SECOND TIME AND WHEN I WENT TO GO GET HIM ABOUT AN HOUR 15 MIN LATER.... THE LADY SAID HE DIDN'T CRY AT ALL AND PLAYED THE WHOLE TIME!!!! YAYAYYAYAYAYYYYYYY! I LOVE IT! IM SO EXCITED! I KNEW REGARDLESS OR NOT OF CRYING, I WAS GOING TO DO MY WORKOUT AND CONTINUE TO BRING HIM. I CAN'T LET HAVING A CHILD GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO NOT WORKOUT. BUT! THE FACT THAT HE HAS FUN TOO! IS AMAZING! I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT LEAVING HIM AND WE BOTH GET A WORKOUT!

IM GETTING EXCITED :D I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN. HOPEFULLY AFTER A COUPLE OF WEEKS ILL BE A MORE TONED VERSION OF MYSELF (ONE CAN HOPE!).

SORRY FOR THE SHORT ENTRY!
HOPE ALL IS WELL!
J