[SPITE ME OL MIGHTY SPITER!]

ALRIGHTY.... SOAP OPERA CONTINUES....

LAST SATURDAY, RYAN TOOK CAE FOR THE DAY. HE AGREED ON NO OVERNIGHTS FOR AWHILE FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN 'SOBER.'

AROUND 5PM RYAN TEXTS ME 'DONT BOTHER COMING TO GET CAELUM, IM TAKING HIM FOR THE NIGHT' ... MY RESPONSE? 'NO WAY.'

SO AT 7:30PM, JOSH AND I HEADED TO OCEANSIDE TO GRAB CAELUM. WE AGREED TO STAY CALM, AND IF HE DOESN'T COMPLY WE WILL JUST CALL THE POLICE AND LET THEM SORT THINGS OUT.

OF COURSE WE GET THERE AND RYAN DOESN'T OPEN THE DOOR, AND TELLS US TO GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS. SO WE DID. THEY SHOWED UP, AND TOLD US THAT THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE A VISITATION AGREEMENT ON PAPER.

IVE NEVER FELT SO HELPLESS IN MY LIFE. I CRIED. THERE WAS NOTHINGGGG THEY COULD DO?!

SO JOSH BEING ALL SNEAKY DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND SERVE RYAN WITH THE COURT PAPERS FROM A WEEK OR SO AGO, AND TRY TO EGG HIM ON TO THREATEN HIM OR SOMETHING SO WE COULD GET THE COPS BACK....

THIS WORKED.... RYAN CAME TO THE DOOR WITH A SPEARGUN. YES, A SPEARGUN. A BIGGG ONE. MY LIFE HAS TURNED INTO A JERRY SPRINGER EPISODE APPARENTLY. SO I CALLED THE COPS AGAIN, AND THEY HADNT LEFT, SO I RAN DOWNSTAIRS AND GOT THEM IN THE NICK OF TIME.

THEY CAME UPSTAIRS AND HANDCUFFED RYAN, ASKED HIM IF HED THREATENED JOSH... HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY 'NO' ... EVEN THOUGH THE SPEARGUN WAS IN THE DOORWAY.... THE COPS ALSO ASKED IF HE'D BEEN DRINKING... HE SAID YES (!!!!! WTF!). THEY LET ME IN TO GO TO CAELUM WHO WAS HANGING OUT IN HIS PACK N PLAY. WHILE I WAS WITH CAE, THE COPS ASKED JOSH IF HE'D LIKE TO PRESS CHARGES, AND HE SAID NO, ONLY IF WE COULD TAKE CAELUM HOME. RYAN AGREED.

WHAT A NIGHT. SO HAPPY TO HAVE CAE HOME WITH ME. I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAD HAPPENED. JOSH IS SO BRAVE AND AMAZING. DONT KNOW WHAT ID DO WITHOUT HIM.

NOW IM JUST HEARTBROKEN... ALL I CAN DO IS THROW UP MY ARMS.... RYAN HAS LEFT ME ABSOLUTELY ANY CHOICES.... WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? I DONT TRUST HIM, I DONT TRUST HIM WITH CAE... HE NEEDS HELP. OBVIOUSLY HE STILL WANTS TO SEE CAE... BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO RESORT TO SUPERVISED VISITS... I NEED SOMETHING ON PAPER. IM SO STRESSED.

I LOVE JOSH. I LOVE MY MOM. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT! WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS SOMEHOW.


[LATER THAT WEEKEND...]
PUMPKIN PATCH...

MY AWESOME FRIEND, LIZ, COMES INTO TOWN THIS WEEKEND, WE ARE SO EXCITED! THEN NEXT FRIDAY I GET TO GO SEE CHRIS YOUNG AND JASON ALDEAN WITH MY PMB GIRLS... SOOOO EXCITED! THEN THAT NEXT DAY, I GET TO MOVE IN WITH JOSH! SO EXCITED!

I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH TO DO. YIKESSSSS.
WISH ME LUCK!