WELL IVE HIT ALL MY GOALS THIS WEEK!
1. ONLY DRINK 1 CUP OF COFFEE PER DAY. -- NAILED IT.
--> THIS IS HUGE FOR ME. I USUALLY HAVE ABOUT 2-3 CUPS IN THE MORNING, AND SOMETHING CAFFEINATED IN THE AFTERNOON (CHAI, ICED BLACK TEA, REFRESHER, ICED COFFEE ETC). I DIDN'T EVEN GET A HEADACHE. HOWEVER, I WAS SO SURPRISED HOW MUCH I THOUGHT ABOUT IT. I COULDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT CAFFEINE AFTER ABOUT NOON. MIND OVER MATTER!
2. INCREASE MY WATER INTAKE. -- MORE SO THAN I USUALLY DRINK, SO IT'S A START!
3. RUN 3 TIMES IN ONE WEEK. -- NAILED IT.
--> I DID 1.5 MILES TWICE DURING THE WEEK, AND I DID 2.3 MILES THIS MORNING.
I'M SUPER EXCITED TO HAVE THESE SMALL STEPS AND GOALS. THEY KEEP ME MOTIVATED, AND I FEEL SO GOOD WHEN I HIT THEM!
THIS COMING WEEK'S GOALS:
1. INCREASE MY WATER INTAKE (YES, AGAIN).
2. FOCUS MORE ON MY P.T. EXERCISES ON THE DAYS I'M NOT RUNNING.
-->IM HOPING TO DO MY EXERCISES AND INCORPORATE PUSHUPS, ABS, AND A LITTLE YOGA.
3. EAT BETTER. I KNOW HOW TO EAT AND WHAT TO EAT, I JUST NEED TO DO IT.
4. RUN 3 X THIS WEEK
--> I'LL BE KEEPING THE SAME RUNNING SCHEDULE FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER WEEK BEFORE I INCREASE THE MILEAGE. I FEEL GOOD, AND MY KNEES FEEL GOOD. JUST NEED TO FOCUS ON BABY STEPS. DON'T WANT TO RUIN ALL MY HARD WORK BECAUSE I GOT ANXIOUS. (ESP BECAUSE 2.3 MILES IS STILL A CHALLENGE).
IN OTHER NEWS... JOSH IS GETTING A ROAD BIKE! I'M SO EXCITED FOR HIM! HE'S A CYCLIST, I'M A RUNNER. THIS IS HOW IT WORKS. I KNOW HOW MUCH HE MISSES IT, AND I'M SO EXCITED FOR HIM TO GET BACK INTO IT.
DID I MENTION HE TOOK MY ROAD BIKE TO HIS FRIENDS HOUSE TO GET IT FIXED UP!? NEW SHIFTERS, BRAKE ASSEMBLY, AND EVERYTHING ELSE TO MAKE A REALLL ROAD BIKE!
I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT, BECAUSE NOW I'LL HAVE HIM TO RIDE WITH. I ONLY WENT ON A HANDFUL OF RIDES, BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE RIDING BY MYSELF. CARS MAKE ME VERY NERVOUS, AND I'M A BETTER FOLLOWER THAN A LEADER. HOPEFULLY THIS CAN BE ANOTHER FITNESS TOOL FOR ME TO UTILIZE WHEN I DON'T FEEL LIKE RUNNING. I ENJOY MY COUNTRY RUNS, SO I'M EXCITED TO HAVE SOME COUNTRY BIKE RIDES TOO! ALTHOUGH, SOME OF THE ROADS ARE A LITTLE HAIRY.... SOOOOOOO THERES THAT LOL.
ALL IN ALL, I'M VERY EXCITED AND PROUD! HOPING THAT I'LL HAVE GOOD NEWS NEXT WEEK WHEN I'VE COMPLETED MY NEW GOALS. ALSO HOPING THAT THIS BLOG KEEPS ME ACCOUNTABLE FOR KEEPING THEM!
THANKS FOR LISTENING,
J
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Sunday, June 30, 2013
[RUNNING AGAIN, FINALLY!]
WELL THAT THURSDAY APPOINTMENT WAS ACTUALLY MY LAST P.T. APPT AND I GOT MY CLEARANCE TO RUN!
I WAS ALLOWED TO START AT A 1/4 MILE AND UP MY MILEAGE BY 10% EVERY RUN, AND TO MAKE SURE I SPACED OUT THE RUNS AT LEAST EVERY OTHER DAY.
OF COURSE THAT WAS IN FEBRUARY AND NOW IT IS JUNE...
A LOT HAS HAPPENED.
I'M STILL RUNNING AND ACTUALLY DID ALMOST 2.5 MILES A COUPLE WEEKS AGO. SUMMER IS IN FULL AFFECT, AND IT IS HOTTER THAN HECK. OH... DID I MENTION WE MOVED!? YUP, NO MORE BEACH RUNS. WE'RE FULL ON COUNTRY FOLK NOW, AND I LOVE IT!
WE HAVE THE CUTEST LITTLE HOUSE AND A WHOLE ACRE OF LAND! WE BROUGHT IN A SHIPPING CONTAINER FOR THE WORKSHOP, PLANTED A GARDEN, GOT CAE A QUAD, AND ARE LOVING LIFE!
MY RUNS HAVE TAKEN A BIG HIT. YES I'M AT 2.5 MILES, BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN AS CONSISTENT AS I WOULD LIKE TO BE. I'D TO SAY THAT THIS WILL CHANGE STARTING THIS WEEK. I'M ALSO VOWING TO START DECREASING MY COFFEE INTAKE AND INCREASING MY WATER INTAKE. IT'S BEEN SUPER HOT, SO I'M HOPING THAT THIS WILL WORK TO MY ADVANTAGE.
I RAN TONIGHT AFTER DINNER, AND DID ABOUT 1.5 MILES. SO FAR WITH ALL OF MY RUNS, I'VE BEEN KNEE PAIN FREE. WHICH IS HUGEEEE! MY MUSCLES HAVE BEEN SORE, BUT THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO BE ;D
I'M HOPING TO WRITE MORE BLOGS THIS WEEK TO TRACK MY PROGRESS.
CHAT SOON!
J
I WAS ALLOWED TO START AT A 1/4 MILE AND UP MY MILEAGE BY 10% EVERY RUN, AND TO MAKE SURE I SPACED OUT THE RUNS AT LEAST EVERY OTHER DAY.
OF COURSE THAT WAS IN FEBRUARY AND NOW IT IS JUNE...
A LOT HAS HAPPENED.
I'M STILL RUNNING AND ACTUALLY DID ALMOST 2.5 MILES A COUPLE WEEKS AGO. SUMMER IS IN FULL AFFECT, AND IT IS HOTTER THAN HECK. OH... DID I MENTION WE MOVED!? YUP, NO MORE BEACH RUNS. WE'RE FULL ON COUNTRY FOLK NOW, AND I LOVE IT!
WE HAVE THE CUTEST LITTLE HOUSE AND A WHOLE ACRE OF LAND! WE BROUGHT IN A SHIPPING CONTAINER FOR THE WORKSHOP, PLANTED A GARDEN, GOT CAE A QUAD, AND ARE LOVING LIFE!
MY RUNS HAVE TAKEN A BIG HIT. YES I'M AT 2.5 MILES, BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN AS CONSISTENT AS I WOULD LIKE TO BE. I'D TO SAY THAT THIS WILL CHANGE STARTING THIS WEEK. I'M ALSO VOWING TO START DECREASING MY COFFEE INTAKE AND INCREASING MY WATER INTAKE. IT'S BEEN SUPER HOT, SO I'M HOPING THAT THIS WILL WORK TO MY ADVANTAGE.
I RAN TONIGHT AFTER DINNER, AND DID ABOUT 1.5 MILES. SO FAR WITH ALL OF MY RUNS, I'VE BEEN KNEE PAIN FREE. WHICH IS HUGEEEE! MY MUSCLES HAVE BEEN SORE, BUT THEY ARE SUPPOSE TO BE ;D
I'M HOPING TO WRITE MORE BLOGS THIS WEEK TO TRACK MY PROGRESS.
CHAT SOON!
J
Monday, February 18, 2013
[IT'S BEEN A HOT MINUTE...]
IT'S BEEN A YEAR... YES, AN ENTIRE YEAR SINCE I'VE POSTED A BLOG.
IT'S BEEN A VERY BUSY YEAR. SMALL RECAP... LAST I WROTE WAS NOV 2011, AND SINCE THEN, JOSH PROPOSED IN JUNE, WE GOT MARRIED IN OCTOBER, AND CAE TURNED 3 IN DECEMBER! BUSINESS IS BOOMING, AND WE ARE GEARING UP FOR HOPEFULLY A HOUSE AND A SECOND CHILD THIS YEAR. VERY VERY EXCITING!
HERE'S A SMALL PREVIEW:
IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO KEEP THIS AS A FITNESS BLOG... SO LETS STICK WITH THAT.
IVE HAD SOME SET BACKS. MY LAST "RUN" WAS ON THANKSGIVING, AND I DEFINITELY DIDN'T RUN THE ENTIRE 5K TURKEY TROT. HAVEN'T RUN SINCE. HOWEVER, THIS WHOLE YEAR, MY KNEES WERE NOT VERY HELPFUL OR COOPERATIVE.THEY HAD GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE, EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHAT MY ACTIVITY LEVEL WAS, THEY'D BE SORE AND HURTING. EVERYDAY. NO FUN.
SO I FINALLY WENT TO A PHYSICAL THERAPIST WHO IS WONDERFUL AND IS GETTING ME BACK ON TRACK TO BE ABLE TO RUN AGAIN. EXERCISES UPON EXERCISES! OBVIOUSLY, I AM VERY WILLING TO STAY ON TRACK AND BE A GOOD LIL STUDENT WHO DOES THEIR HOMEWORK.
APPARENTLY IT WAS MY HIPS THIS WHOLE TIME! THE HIP MUSCLES WEREN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO KEEP MY FEMUR FROM ROTATING AS I BEND MY KNEE, CAUSING MY KNEE CAP TO RUB ON THE COURSE PART OF THE BONE, NOT ALONG THE SMOOTH TRACK. I HAVE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT ON THURSDAY, AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO START JOGGING AGAIN. SHE SAID STARTING OUT WITH 2-3 MIN (NOT MILES LOL), AND I COULDN'T BE MORE ECSTATIC TO START! I'LL TAKE IT!
JUST A SMALL UPDATE FOR NOW. WILL BE SURE TO WRITE MORE ;D
J
IT'S BEEN A VERY BUSY YEAR. SMALL RECAP... LAST I WROTE WAS NOV 2011, AND SINCE THEN, JOSH PROPOSED IN JUNE, WE GOT MARRIED IN OCTOBER, AND CAE TURNED 3 IN DECEMBER! BUSINESS IS BOOMING, AND WE ARE GEARING UP FOR HOPEFULLY A HOUSE AND A SECOND CHILD THIS YEAR. VERY VERY EXCITING!
HERE'S A SMALL PREVIEW:
IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO KEEP THIS AS A FITNESS BLOG... SO LETS STICK WITH THAT.
IVE HAD SOME SET BACKS. MY LAST "RUN" WAS ON THANKSGIVING, AND I DEFINITELY DIDN'T RUN THE ENTIRE 5K TURKEY TROT. HAVEN'T RUN SINCE. HOWEVER, THIS WHOLE YEAR, MY KNEES WERE NOT VERY HELPFUL OR COOPERATIVE.THEY HAD GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE, EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHAT MY ACTIVITY LEVEL WAS, THEY'D BE SORE AND HURTING. EVERYDAY. NO FUN.
SO I FINALLY WENT TO A PHYSICAL THERAPIST WHO IS WONDERFUL AND IS GETTING ME BACK ON TRACK TO BE ABLE TO RUN AGAIN. EXERCISES UPON EXERCISES! OBVIOUSLY, I AM VERY WILLING TO STAY ON TRACK AND BE A GOOD LIL STUDENT WHO DOES THEIR HOMEWORK.
APPARENTLY IT WAS MY HIPS THIS WHOLE TIME! THE HIP MUSCLES WEREN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO KEEP MY FEMUR FROM ROTATING AS I BEND MY KNEE, CAUSING MY KNEE CAP TO RUB ON THE COURSE PART OF THE BONE, NOT ALONG THE SMOOTH TRACK. I HAVE ANOTHER APPOINTMENT ON THURSDAY, AND I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO START JOGGING AGAIN. SHE SAID STARTING OUT WITH 2-3 MIN (NOT MILES LOL), AND I COULDN'T BE MORE ECSTATIC TO START! I'LL TAKE IT!
JUST A SMALL UPDATE FOR NOW. WILL BE SURE TO WRITE MORE ;D
J
Saturday, November 19, 2011
[DOUBLE OR NOTHIN!]
I WAS SITTING AT MY DESK... AROUND 6:30 AM... COFFEE ON MY DESK, SLEEPING BABY, STARTED WORK...
AND THEN... MY NEIGHBOR, LISA, WALKED DOWN THE HILL IN FRONT OF ME, JUST GETTING BACK FROM HER EARLY MORNING RUN. A COUPLE MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND, CHRIS, SET OUT ON HIS RUN.
WHAT WAS I DOING?
ITS LIGHT OUT. IM MOTIVATED. ALL I COULD THINK WAS "THIS IS HOW TRIATHLETES DO IT."
ITS ALL ABOUT DEMANDING TIME FOR YOURSELF. KEYWORD: DEMANDING. MY YOGA INSTRUCTOR SAYS IT EVERY CLASS: "THANK YOU FOR COMING AND DEVOTING THIS HOUR TO YOURSELF"... MY TIME. I CAN CHOSE TO DO WHATEVER WITH MY "ME TIME" AND I REALLY WANT TO DIVE IN TO BE ACTIVE FOR ME.
I GET TOO WRAPPED UP IN LIFE, AND BY THE TIME I GET HOME IM TOO TIRED OR HAVE NO MOTIVATION.
MAYBE I SHOULD WORKOUT IN THE MORNINGS? MY NEW PLAN, EVEN IF ITS JUST A COUPLE DAYS A WEEK. ITD BE AN AWESOME WAY TO START THE DAY, AND GET IT OVER WITH. NO EXCUSES. I HAVE JOSH IN MY BED TO KICK ME OUT WHEN THE ALARM HITS... WHATS MY EXCUSE? 'IM TIRED...?' NO FLYIN THIS TIME, SUCKER.
THIS WEEK I WAS INSPIRED BY CHRIS AND LISA (THEY ARE HARDCORE. TWO KIDS. AND HAVE BOTH COMPLETE IRONMANS... YES, IRONMANS!). I WANT TO UP THE ANTY (SP?). SO I DID. IN MY OWN WAY. I WORKED OUT 5 TIMES THIS WEEK.
MONDAY: YOGA
TUESDAY: RUN 2 MILES WITH CAE
WEDNESDAY: BIKE 12 MILES, SWIM 1/2 MI
THURSDAY: YOGA
FRIDAY: RUN 5 MILES (SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH NO STROLLER?! HAHA)
WEDNESDAY WAS AWESOME. IT MAKES ME REALLY WANT TO JUST JUMP IN AND DO A SPRINT TRIATHLON (750m SWIM, 20km BIKE, 5k RUN). TOTALLY DO ABLE. THEN I WANT TO WORK UP TO A BIGGER AND BIGGER ONE. MUA HA HA.
FRIDAY WAS ALSO HUGEEE FOR ME! 5 MILES?! I HAVENT DONE THAT IN MONTHS. MY KNEES HAVE REALLY BEEN HURTING LATELY, SO I WAS SOOOO EXCITED TO COME HOME AND BRAG! THEN I WENT FOR THE ICE PACK. (THANKFULLY I DONT REALLY HURT TODAY... A GOOD SIGN INDEED!) I WANT TO DO A COUPLE OF 5 MILE RUNS DURING THE WEEK, AND WORK UP TO AN 8-10 MILE RUN ON THE WEEKENDS AS MY LONG RUN.
THATS MY GOAL. ALONG WITH HOPEFULLY SAVING FOR A ROAD BIKE, SO I CAN GET HARDCORE WITH THAT WITHOUT KILLING MY KNEES.
IM SO EXCITED THIS WEEK! NEXT WEEK I WANT TO KILL IT AND DO THE SAME, BUT INCORPORATE MORNING WORKOUTS... HOPEFULLY DO MY STRENGTH TRAINING THEN. I NEED TO START LOOKING UP SOME LEG WORKOUTS SO I CAN STRENGTHEN MY QUAD MUSCLES SO MY KNEES CAN START LOVING ME AGAIN (AND REWARD ME WITH LONG RUNS!). IM ALMOST TEMPTED TO USE A PERSONAL TRAINER, EVEN IF ITS ONLY A COUPLE OF WORKOUTS. IM PRETTY GOOD AT PUSHING MYSELF (I ACTUALLY PREFER TO WORKOUT ALONE), SO I JUST NEED SOME DIRECTION.
IN OTHER NEWS, MY SUSAN G KOMEN 5K WALK WENT AWESOME! IT WAS SO NICE TO BE OUT THERE WITH MY MOM! I THINK SHE WAS IN UTTER SHOCK ABOUT HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THERE. IT WAS AWESOME. SHE EVEN WANTS TO DO IT NEXT YEAR! YAY MOMMY!
I HAVE ANOTHER 5K ON THANKSGIVING MORNING WITH DARCY. WE DID IT LAST YEAR, AND DECIDED IT HAD TO BECOME TRADITION. THIS YEAR WE ARE DRESSING UP... TURKEY BEANIES AND TUTUS! HAHA IT SHOULD BE AWESOME. IM EXCITED. THIS TIME IM RUNNING IT, AND IM PRETTY EXCITED ;D
I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT WEEK! DREAM BIG!
FOOD FOR THOUGHT: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR "ME TIME'? WHAT DO YOU DEMAND OF YOURSELF? WHAT DO YOU DEMAND OF YOUR TIME? ARE YOU REALLY PUSHING YOURSELF?
OXOX
AND THEN... MY NEIGHBOR, LISA, WALKED DOWN THE HILL IN FRONT OF ME, JUST GETTING BACK FROM HER EARLY MORNING RUN. A COUPLE MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND, CHRIS, SET OUT ON HIS RUN.
WHAT WAS I DOING?
ITS LIGHT OUT. IM MOTIVATED. ALL I COULD THINK WAS "THIS IS HOW TRIATHLETES DO IT."
ITS ALL ABOUT DEMANDING TIME FOR YOURSELF. KEYWORD: DEMANDING. MY YOGA INSTRUCTOR SAYS IT EVERY CLASS: "THANK YOU FOR COMING AND DEVOTING THIS HOUR TO YOURSELF"... MY TIME. I CAN CHOSE TO DO WHATEVER WITH MY "ME TIME" AND I REALLY WANT TO DIVE IN TO BE ACTIVE FOR ME.
I GET TOO WRAPPED UP IN LIFE, AND BY THE TIME I GET HOME IM TOO TIRED OR HAVE NO MOTIVATION.
MAYBE I SHOULD WORKOUT IN THE MORNINGS? MY NEW PLAN, EVEN IF ITS JUST A COUPLE DAYS A WEEK. ITD BE AN AWESOME WAY TO START THE DAY, AND GET IT OVER WITH. NO EXCUSES. I HAVE JOSH IN MY BED TO KICK ME OUT WHEN THE ALARM HITS... WHATS MY EXCUSE? 'IM TIRED...?' NO FLYIN THIS TIME, SUCKER.
THIS WEEK I WAS INSPIRED BY CHRIS AND LISA (THEY ARE HARDCORE. TWO KIDS. AND HAVE BOTH COMPLETE IRONMANS... YES, IRONMANS!). I WANT TO UP THE ANTY (SP?). SO I DID. IN MY OWN WAY. I WORKED OUT 5 TIMES THIS WEEK.
MONDAY: YOGA
TUESDAY: RUN 2 MILES WITH CAE
WEDNESDAY: BIKE 12 MILES, SWIM 1/2 MI
THURSDAY: YOGA
FRIDAY: RUN 5 MILES (SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH NO STROLLER?! HAHA)
WEDNESDAY WAS AWESOME. IT MAKES ME REALLY WANT TO JUST JUMP IN AND DO A SPRINT TRIATHLON (750m SWIM, 20km BIKE, 5k RUN). TOTALLY DO ABLE. THEN I WANT TO WORK UP TO A BIGGER AND BIGGER ONE. MUA HA HA.
FRIDAY WAS ALSO HUGEEE FOR ME! 5 MILES?! I HAVENT DONE THAT IN MONTHS. MY KNEES HAVE REALLY BEEN HURTING LATELY, SO I WAS SOOOO EXCITED TO COME HOME AND BRAG! THEN I WENT FOR THE ICE PACK. (THANKFULLY I DONT REALLY HURT TODAY... A GOOD SIGN INDEED!) I WANT TO DO A COUPLE OF 5 MILE RUNS DURING THE WEEK, AND WORK UP TO AN 8-10 MILE RUN ON THE WEEKENDS AS MY LONG RUN.
THATS MY GOAL. ALONG WITH HOPEFULLY SAVING FOR A ROAD BIKE, SO I CAN GET HARDCORE WITH THAT WITHOUT KILLING MY KNEES.
IM SO EXCITED THIS WEEK! NEXT WEEK I WANT TO KILL IT AND DO THE SAME, BUT INCORPORATE MORNING WORKOUTS... HOPEFULLY DO MY STRENGTH TRAINING THEN. I NEED TO START LOOKING UP SOME LEG WORKOUTS SO I CAN STRENGTHEN MY QUAD MUSCLES SO MY KNEES CAN START LOVING ME AGAIN (AND REWARD ME WITH LONG RUNS!). IM ALMOST TEMPTED TO USE A PERSONAL TRAINER, EVEN IF ITS ONLY A COUPLE OF WORKOUTS. IM PRETTY GOOD AT PUSHING MYSELF (I ACTUALLY PREFER TO WORKOUT ALONE), SO I JUST NEED SOME DIRECTION.
IN OTHER NEWS, MY SUSAN G KOMEN 5K WALK WENT AWESOME! IT WAS SO NICE TO BE OUT THERE WITH MY MOM! I THINK SHE WAS IN UTTER SHOCK ABOUT HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THERE. IT WAS AWESOME. SHE EVEN WANTS TO DO IT NEXT YEAR! YAY MOMMY!
I HAVE ANOTHER 5K ON THANKSGIVING MORNING WITH DARCY. WE DID IT LAST YEAR, AND DECIDED IT HAD TO BECOME TRADITION. THIS YEAR WE ARE DRESSING UP... TURKEY BEANIES AND TUTUS! HAHA IT SHOULD BE AWESOME. IM EXCITED. THIS TIME IM RUNNING IT, AND IM PRETTY EXCITED ;D
I HOPE EVERYONE HAD A GREAT WEEK! DREAM BIG!
FOOD FOR THOUGHT: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR "ME TIME'? WHAT DO YOU DEMAND OF YOURSELF? WHAT DO YOU DEMAND OF YOUR TIME? ARE YOU REALLY PUSHING YOURSELF?
OXOX
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
[I MIGHT TRI IT]
SOOOO LONG TIME NO TALK! SORRY, LIFE HAS BEEN SUPER BUSY. STUFF WITH RYAN, MOVING, HALLOWEEN, MOVING... CLEANING.... PACKING... UNPACKING... YOU GET THE IDEA.
I ACTUALLY DIDN'T GO TO THE GYM VERY MUCH LAST WEEK, SO IM MAKING UP FOR IT THIS WEEK! I NEED TO GET SERIOUSSSSSSS ABOUT MY DIET AND EXERCISE.
LATELY IVE BEEN HAVING A HANKERING TO TRY A TRIATHLON... LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY... IM TALKING ABOUT A HALF TRIATHLON. IN THE FAR FUTURE... WHICH MEANS I WANT TO START TRAINING YESTERDAY. AT THE GYM IVE BEEN DOING WHAT I CALL 'MINI TRIATHLONS' CONSISTING OF A 2 MILE RUN, 6 MILE BIKE, AND A 1/2 MILE SWIM... IN THAT ORDER... OBVIOUSLY I DO IT IN THE WRONG ORDER.... (SUPPOSE TO SWIM, BIKE, RUN)... BUT I DONT WANT TO SWIM, SHOWER, THEN DO THE REST OF MY WORKOUT INSIDE WITH WET HAIR... CALL ME CRAZY. MAYBE IF I WAS TRAINING OUTSIDE.... HAHA. ALRIGHTY...
SO I WANT TO WORK UP TO A HALF TRIATHLON BEFORE I DIE (WHICH IS 1.2MI SWIM, 56MI BIKE, AND 13.1MI RUN) BUT I FIGURED THAT BEFORE I START BECOMING INSANE, I BETTER START WITH A SPRINT (.47MI SWIM, 12.4MI BIKE, AND A 3.1MI RUN) THEN MOVE TO AN OLYMPIC DISTANCE (.93MI SWIM, 24.8MI BIKE, AND A 6.2MI RUN)....
IM STARTING TO GET REALLY EXCITED. IVE BEEN LOVING MY NEW GYM TIME. I NEED TO START A GOOD SCHEDULE THOUGH... KEEP MY YOGA AND STRENGTH TRAINING GOING WHILE DOING ALL THAT FUN CARDIO. THIS TIME IM DOING THINGS RIGHT BY HAVING A REALLY GOOD WELL ROUNDED WORKOUT.
I JUST NEED TO GET BRAVE ENOUGH TO GO OUT AND DO SOME OCEAN WATER SWIMS. WHICH IS KINDA CRAZY FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT. WEIRD TO THINK ABOUT WAVES... CURRENT... FREEZING WATER... AND NOT TO MENTION THERE WAS A SHARK SIGHTING AT BEACONS (ABOUT 200YRDS FROM MY FRONT DOOR).
I NEED A BUDDY. SOMEONE ON MY LEVEL. I KNOW JOSH WOULD DO IT... BUT HE'S ALSO 6'2" AND RUNS MUCH FASTER, IS AN INSANE BIKER, AND I KNOW BECAUSE HE'S SO LONG AND LEAN WOULD KILL IT IN SWIMMING.
... ALRIGHTY WELL THAT WAS FUN.
HOPEFULLY I CAN START POSTING MORE FREQUENTLY NOW THAT THINGS HAVE CALMED DOWN A BIT...
OXOX
J
I ACTUALLY DIDN'T GO TO THE GYM VERY MUCH LAST WEEK, SO IM MAKING UP FOR IT THIS WEEK! I NEED TO GET SERIOUSSSSSSS ABOUT MY DIET AND EXERCISE.
LATELY IVE BEEN HAVING A HANKERING TO TRY A TRIATHLON... LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY... IM TALKING ABOUT A HALF TRIATHLON. IN THE FAR FUTURE... WHICH MEANS I WANT TO START TRAINING YESTERDAY. AT THE GYM IVE BEEN DOING WHAT I CALL 'MINI TRIATHLONS' CONSISTING OF A 2 MILE RUN, 6 MILE BIKE, AND A 1/2 MILE SWIM... IN THAT ORDER... OBVIOUSLY I DO IT IN THE WRONG ORDER.... (SUPPOSE TO SWIM, BIKE, RUN)... BUT I DONT WANT TO SWIM, SHOWER, THEN DO THE REST OF MY WORKOUT INSIDE WITH WET HAIR... CALL ME CRAZY. MAYBE IF I WAS TRAINING OUTSIDE.... HAHA. ALRIGHTY...
SO I WANT TO WORK UP TO A HALF TRIATHLON BEFORE I DIE (WHICH IS 1.2MI SWIM, 56MI BIKE, AND 13.1MI RUN) BUT I FIGURED THAT BEFORE I START BECOMING INSANE, I BETTER START WITH A SPRINT (.47MI SWIM, 12.4MI BIKE, AND A 3.1MI RUN) THEN MOVE TO AN OLYMPIC DISTANCE (.93MI SWIM, 24.8MI BIKE, AND A 6.2MI RUN)....
IM STARTING TO GET REALLY EXCITED. IVE BEEN LOVING MY NEW GYM TIME. I NEED TO START A GOOD SCHEDULE THOUGH... KEEP MY YOGA AND STRENGTH TRAINING GOING WHILE DOING ALL THAT FUN CARDIO. THIS TIME IM DOING THINGS RIGHT BY HAVING A REALLY GOOD WELL ROUNDED WORKOUT.
I JUST NEED TO GET BRAVE ENOUGH TO GO OUT AND DO SOME OCEAN WATER SWIMS. WHICH IS KINDA CRAZY FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT. WEIRD TO THINK ABOUT WAVES... CURRENT... FREEZING WATER... AND NOT TO MENTION THERE WAS A SHARK SIGHTING AT BEACONS (ABOUT 200YRDS FROM MY FRONT DOOR).
I NEED A BUDDY. SOMEONE ON MY LEVEL. I KNOW JOSH WOULD DO IT... BUT HE'S ALSO 6'2" AND RUNS MUCH FASTER, IS AN INSANE BIKER, AND I KNOW BECAUSE HE'S SO LONG AND LEAN WOULD KILL IT IN SWIMMING.
... ALRIGHTY WELL THAT WAS FUN.
HOPEFULLY I CAN START POSTING MORE FREQUENTLY NOW THAT THINGS HAVE CALMED DOWN A BIT...
OXOX
J
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
[SPITE ME OL MIGHTY SPITER!]
ALRIGHTY.... SOAP OPERA CONTINUES....
LAST SATURDAY, RYAN TOOK CAE FOR THE DAY. HE AGREED ON NO OVERNIGHTS FOR AWHILE FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN 'SOBER.'
AROUND 5PM RYAN TEXTS ME 'DONT BOTHER COMING TO GET CAELUM, IM TAKING HIM FOR THE NIGHT' ... MY RESPONSE? 'NO WAY.'
SO AT 7:30PM, JOSH AND I HEADED TO OCEANSIDE TO GRAB CAELUM. WE AGREED TO STAY CALM, AND IF HE DOESN'T COMPLY WE WILL JUST CALL THE POLICE AND LET THEM SORT THINGS OUT.
OF COURSE WE GET THERE AND RYAN DOESN'T OPEN THE DOOR, AND TELLS US TO GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS. SO WE DID. THEY SHOWED UP, AND TOLD US THAT THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE A VISITATION AGREEMENT ON PAPER.
IVE NEVER FELT SO HELPLESS IN MY LIFE. I CRIED. THERE WAS NOTHINGGGG THEY COULD DO?!
SO JOSH BEING ALL SNEAKY DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND SERVE RYAN WITH THE COURT PAPERS FROM A WEEK OR SO AGO, AND TRY TO EGG HIM ON TO THREATEN HIM OR SOMETHING SO WE COULD GET THE COPS BACK....
THIS WORKED.... RYAN CAME TO THE DOOR WITH A SPEARGUN. YES, A SPEARGUN. A BIGGG ONE. MY LIFE HAS TURNED INTO A JERRY SPRINGER EPISODE APPARENTLY. SO I CALLED THE COPS AGAIN, AND THEY HADNT LEFT, SO I RAN DOWNSTAIRS AND GOT THEM IN THE NICK OF TIME.
THEY CAME UPSTAIRS AND HANDCUFFED RYAN, ASKED HIM IF HED THREATENED JOSH... HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY 'NO' ... EVEN THOUGH THE SPEARGUN WAS IN THE DOORWAY.... THE COPS ALSO ASKED IF HE'D BEEN DRINKING... HE SAID YES (!!!!! WTF!). THEY LET ME IN TO GO TO CAELUM WHO WAS HANGING OUT IN HIS PACK N PLAY. WHILE I WAS WITH CAE, THE COPS ASKED JOSH IF HE'D LIKE TO PRESS CHARGES, AND HE SAID NO, ONLY IF WE COULD TAKE CAELUM HOME. RYAN AGREED.
WHAT A NIGHT. SO HAPPY TO HAVE CAE HOME WITH ME. I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAD HAPPENED. JOSH IS SO BRAVE AND AMAZING. DONT KNOW WHAT ID DO WITHOUT HIM.
NOW IM JUST HEARTBROKEN... ALL I CAN DO IS THROW UP MY ARMS.... RYAN HAS LEFT ME ABSOLUTELY ANY CHOICES.... WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? I DONT TRUST HIM, I DONT TRUST HIM WITH CAE... HE NEEDS HELP. OBVIOUSLY HE STILL WANTS TO SEE CAE... BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO RESORT TO SUPERVISED VISITS... I NEED SOMETHING ON PAPER. IM SO STRESSED.
I LOVE JOSH. I LOVE MY MOM. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT! WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS SOMEHOW.
[LATER THAT WEEKEND...]
PUMPKIN PATCH...
MY AWESOME FRIEND, LIZ, COMES INTO TOWN THIS WEEKEND, WE ARE SO EXCITED! THEN NEXT FRIDAY I GET TO GO SEE CHRIS YOUNG AND JASON ALDEAN WITH MY PMB GIRLS... SOOOO EXCITED! THEN THAT NEXT DAY, I GET TO MOVE IN WITH JOSH! SO EXCITED!
I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH TO DO. YIKESSSSS.
WISH ME LUCK!
LAST SATURDAY, RYAN TOOK CAE FOR THE DAY. HE AGREED ON NO OVERNIGHTS FOR AWHILE FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, EVEN THOUGH HE'S BEEN 'SOBER.'
AROUND 5PM RYAN TEXTS ME 'DONT BOTHER COMING TO GET CAELUM, IM TAKING HIM FOR THE NIGHT' ... MY RESPONSE? 'NO WAY.'
SO AT 7:30PM, JOSH AND I HEADED TO OCEANSIDE TO GRAB CAELUM. WE AGREED TO STAY CALM, AND IF HE DOESN'T COMPLY WE WILL JUST CALL THE POLICE AND LET THEM SORT THINGS OUT.
OF COURSE WE GET THERE AND RYAN DOESN'T OPEN THE DOOR, AND TELLS US TO GO AHEAD AND CALL THE COPS. SO WE DID. THEY SHOWED UP, AND TOLD US THAT THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE A VISITATION AGREEMENT ON PAPER.
IVE NEVER FELT SO HELPLESS IN MY LIFE. I CRIED. THERE WAS NOTHINGGGG THEY COULD DO?!
SO JOSH BEING ALL SNEAKY DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND SERVE RYAN WITH THE COURT PAPERS FROM A WEEK OR SO AGO, AND TRY TO EGG HIM ON TO THREATEN HIM OR SOMETHING SO WE COULD GET THE COPS BACK....
THIS WORKED.... RYAN CAME TO THE DOOR WITH A SPEARGUN. YES, A SPEARGUN. A BIGGG ONE. MY LIFE HAS TURNED INTO A JERRY SPRINGER EPISODE APPARENTLY. SO I CALLED THE COPS AGAIN, AND THEY HADNT LEFT, SO I RAN DOWNSTAIRS AND GOT THEM IN THE NICK OF TIME.
THEY CAME UPSTAIRS AND HANDCUFFED RYAN, ASKED HIM IF HED THREATENED JOSH... HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY 'NO' ... EVEN THOUGH THE SPEARGUN WAS IN THE DOORWAY.... THE COPS ALSO ASKED IF HE'D BEEN DRINKING... HE SAID YES (!!!!! WTF!). THEY LET ME IN TO GO TO CAELUM WHO WAS HANGING OUT IN HIS PACK N PLAY. WHILE I WAS WITH CAE, THE COPS ASKED JOSH IF HE'D LIKE TO PRESS CHARGES, AND HE SAID NO, ONLY IF WE COULD TAKE CAELUM HOME. RYAN AGREED.
WHAT A NIGHT. SO HAPPY TO HAVE CAE HOME WITH ME. I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT HAD HAPPENED. JOSH IS SO BRAVE AND AMAZING. DONT KNOW WHAT ID DO WITHOUT HIM.
NOW IM JUST HEARTBROKEN... ALL I CAN DO IS THROW UP MY ARMS.... RYAN HAS LEFT ME ABSOLUTELY ANY CHOICES.... WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? I DONT TRUST HIM, I DONT TRUST HIM WITH CAE... HE NEEDS HELP. OBVIOUSLY HE STILL WANTS TO SEE CAE... BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO RESORT TO SUPERVISED VISITS... I NEED SOMETHING ON PAPER. IM SO STRESSED.
I LOVE JOSH. I LOVE MY MOM. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT! WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS SOMEHOW.
[LATER THAT WEEKEND...]
PUMPKIN PATCH...
MY AWESOME FRIEND, LIZ, COMES INTO TOWN THIS WEEKEND, WE ARE SO EXCITED! THEN NEXT FRIDAY I GET TO GO SEE CHRIS YOUNG AND JASON ALDEAN WITH MY PMB GIRLS... SOOOO EXCITED! THEN THAT NEXT DAY, I GET TO MOVE IN WITH JOSH! SO EXCITED!
I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH TO DO. YIKESSSSS.
WISH ME LUCK!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
[INCREDIBLE HULK?]
WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU, MAKES YOU STRONGER. I HOPE BY THE END OF THIS, I AM MRS. INCREDIBLE HULK. I MIGHT LOOK GOOD IN GREEN.... MUA HA HA.
SO HERES THE DEAL...
[IN MY LIFE....]
LAST WEEKEND WAS RYAN'S WEEKEND WITH CAE... AND SATURDAY NIGHT (OCT 1ST) AROUND 7:30 I GOT TWO CALLS FROM A NUMBER I DIDN'T KNOW, SO I DIDN'T ANSWER IT, BUT A LITTLE WHILE AFTER I CHECKED MY VOICEMAIL... THE MESSAGE IS FROM SOME GIRL AND IT WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS...
"HI JENNIFER, MY NAME IS REBECCA SMITH, AND YOU DONT KNOW BE BUT I KNOW RYAN AND HE WAS COMING UP TO VISIT ME TODAY IN BIG BEAR, AND GOT PULLED OVER. I HAVE YOUR SON. RYAN WAS STOPPED FOR SPEEDING, AND WHEN ASKED IF HE HAD BEEN DRINKING HE SAID 'I DRANK LAST NIGHT, BUT NOT TODAY'... WELLLLL, HE STILL HAD A BLOOD-ALCOHOL LEVEL HIGH ENOUGH TO BRING HIM TO JAIL. AND HE CALLED ME TO PICK UP CAELUM SO HE WOULDN'T GO TO C.P.S. HE IS FINE, BUT PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL BACK."
WTF?!?!?! I CALLED HER RIGHT BACK AND SHE SAID THAT RYAN GOT PULLED OVER AT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON, AND THAT HE SAID HE SHOULD BE OUT IN 5 HRS AND THAT SHE'D CALL THE SHERIFF TO GET AN UPDATE.
I COULDN'T BREATHE! I WAS SHAKING! I CAME IN AND TOLD JOSH AND ALMOST BROKE DOWN. SHE CALLED ME BACK AND SAID THAT RYAN WASNT GOING TO GET OUT UNTIL ABOUT 10AM SUNDAY MORNING, AND AFTER THAT WHO KNEW HOW LONG ITD TAKE TO GET HIS TRUCK OUT OF IMPOUND.... ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS?! SO I TOLD HER ID BE UP IN 3 HRS. SHE ASKED IF I WAS SURE, THAT EVERYTHING REALLY WAS OK, AND OF COURSE I RESPONDED THAT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS SLEEPING TONIGHT ANYWAYS SO IM ON MY WAY.
JOSH IS AMAZING AND DROVE BOTH WAYS UP TO THE TOP OF BIG BEAR AND BACK TO GET CAELUM (MIND YOU HE HAD ALREADY BEEN TO LA THAT DAY AND OUT TO VALLEY CENTER). BEST REUNION EVER. I NEVER KNEW WAS RELIEF WAS UNTIL I HAD THAT BOY IN MY ARMS! I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING AT HIM IN THE BACK OF MY CAR.
FIRST THING MONDAY I WENT TO COURT AND OF COURSE DIDN'T GET THERE EARLY ENOUGH, AND THEY COULDN'T HELP ME WITH A DAMN THING. OUR SYSTEM SUCKS. NOT EVEN EMERGENCY CUSTODY OR ANYTHING. SUCH BS. I WENT STRAIGHT TO CAES DAYCARE AND PICKED HIM UP 3 HRS EARLY BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED THAT RYAN MIGHT GO AND PICK HIM UP. I INFORMED THE DAYCARE OF EVERYTHING, AND THEY SAID LEGALLY THEY COULDNT STOP HIM, BUT THEY COULD CALL ME AND STALL. I WAS TOO PARANOID LOL.
SOOOO I WENT BACK TO COURT TUESDAY AT 6:30AM, RHIANA WAS AMAZING AND CAME OVER TO WATCH CAE AT 6AM (AND WE BOTH KNOW 6AM IS NOT CHILE TIME LOL). 7 HOURS LATER, I GOT A MEDIATION DATE FOR DECEMBER FOR FULL CUSTODY AND VISITATION... SAME SCHEDULE BUT NO OVERNIGHTS UNTIL HE (AND SOMEONE ELSE) CAN PROVE TO ME HE IS A CHANGED MAN.
WHAT A WEEKEND. SUCH BS. IVE NEVER BEEN SO NERVOUS, ANXIOUS, HEARTBROKEN, AND SCARED TO DEATH IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
JUST GLAD I HAVE SO MANY AMAZING PEOPLE TO SUPPORT ME, MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM NOT IN IT COMPLETELY ALONE. SURE IS A LOT EASIER WHEN YOU HAVE AN ARMY BEHIND YOU.
RYANS PARENTS DROVE ALL THE WAY TO BIG BEAR SUNDAY TO GET HIM OUT OF JAIL. AND HIS DAD DROVE HIM BACK UP THERE MONDAY TO GET HIS TRUCK. RYAN SENT ME ABOUT 50 TEXTS SUNDAY AND THEN COMPLETELY STOPPED. HE TEXTED ME YESTERDAY THAT HE LEFT CAES MEDS ON MY DOORSTEP (WE WERE HOME, DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL HE WAS GONE). I FINALLY TEXTED HIM BACK TO TELL HIM THAT WE NEEDED TO TALK. I INFORMED HIM ABOUT COURT. HE AGREED TO HAVE THINGS ON PAPER, AND EVEN AGREED TO NO OVERNIGHTS. HOPEFULLY WE CAN REACH AN AGREEMENT SOON, SO WE DONT HAVE TO WAIT TIL DEC TO GO TO COURT.
WHAT A MESS.
[IN OTHER NEWS....]
IM GETTING MUCH BETTER AT DRIVING MY CAR! WOOT! STILL TERRIFIED OF HILLS SO I PURPOSELY TAKE ROUTES THAT DONT INVOLVE HILLS LOL.
[FOOD]
IVE BEEN TERRIBLE. PROBABLY BECAUSE OF STRESS AND NOT GOING GROCERY SHOPPING... BUT THOSE ARE NOT EXCUSES. BAD JEN!
[EXERCISE]
I WENT TO YOGA TWICE THIS WEEK... FELT SO GOOD TO CLEAR MY MIND ESP SINCE IVE HAD SOOOOO MUCH ON IT. AND YESTERDAY I WENT RUNNING. THE WEATHER WAS AMAZING, SUN WAS OUT, BREEZE WAS COOL, ... IT IS FALL! ANDDDD I DID 4 MILES! I WAS SOOOOO STOKED! EVEN WHEN I GOT DONE, I FELT LIKE I COULD HAVE GONE FURTHER! I WANT TO GO AGAIN TODAY, BUT I THINK MY KNEES WOULD HATE ME, SO ILL REFRAIN AND GO TUESDAY (MONDAY IS MY YOGA DAY).
ALRIGHTY FOLKS... THATS ABOUT ALL I GOT FOR YA...
IM SUPPOSE TO TALK TO RYAN TODAY TO WORK SOMETHING OUT. I THINK IM GOING TO GO HARD. HE CANT WALK AWAY WITH A SLAP ON THE WRIST. ESP BECAUSE HE HAS TWO DUIS ALREADY... IM SURE HE IS FACING JAIL TIME. SO SCARY. JUST HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF, THAT THESE WERE HIS CHOICES, NOT MINE. I DONT NEED TO FEEL BAD ABOUT ANY OF IT. HE HASN'T LEFT ME WITH OPTIONS... I JUST HATE THAT IT HAD TO ALL COME TO THIS.
STAND FAST MY FRIENDS.
OXOX
J
SO HERES THE DEAL...
[IN MY LIFE....]
LAST WEEKEND WAS RYAN'S WEEKEND WITH CAE... AND SATURDAY NIGHT (OCT 1ST) AROUND 7:30 I GOT TWO CALLS FROM A NUMBER I DIDN'T KNOW, SO I DIDN'T ANSWER IT, BUT A LITTLE WHILE AFTER I CHECKED MY VOICEMAIL... THE MESSAGE IS FROM SOME GIRL AND IT WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS...
"HI JENNIFER, MY NAME IS REBECCA SMITH, AND YOU DONT KNOW BE BUT I KNOW RYAN AND HE WAS COMING UP TO VISIT ME TODAY IN BIG BEAR, AND GOT PULLED OVER. I HAVE YOUR SON. RYAN WAS STOPPED FOR SPEEDING, AND WHEN ASKED IF HE HAD BEEN DRINKING HE SAID 'I DRANK LAST NIGHT, BUT NOT TODAY'... WELLLLL, HE STILL HAD A BLOOD-ALCOHOL LEVEL HIGH ENOUGH TO BRING HIM TO JAIL. AND HE CALLED ME TO PICK UP CAELUM SO HE WOULDN'T GO TO C.P.S. HE IS FINE, BUT PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL BACK."
WTF?!?!?! I CALLED HER RIGHT BACK AND SHE SAID THAT RYAN GOT PULLED OVER AT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON, AND THAT HE SAID HE SHOULD BE OUT IN 5 HRS AND THAT SHE'D CALL THE SHERIFF TO GET AN UPDATE.
I COULDN'T BREATHE! I WAS SHAKING! I CAME IN AND TOLD JOSH AND ALMOST BROKE DOWN. SHE CALLED ME BACK AND SAID THAT RYAN WASNT GOING TO GET OUT UNTIL ABOUT 10AM SUNDAY MORNING, AND AFTER THAT WHO KNEW HOW LONG ITD TAKE TO GET HIS TRUCK OUT OF IMPOUND.... ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS?! SO I TOLD HER ID BE UP IN 3 HRS. SHE ASKED IF I WAS SURE, THAT EVERYTHING REALLY WAS OK, AND OF COURSE I RESPONDED THAT THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS SLEEPING TONIGHT ANYWAYS SO IM ON MY WAY.
JOSH IS AMAZING AND DROVE BOTH WAYS UP TO THE TOP OF BIG BEAR AND BACK TO GET CAELUM (MIND YOU HE HAD ALREADY BEEN TO LA THAT DAY AND OUT TO VALLEY CENTER). BEST REUNION EVER. I NEVER KNEW WAS RELIEF WAS UNTIL I HAD THAT BOY IN MY ARMS! I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING AT HIM IN THE BACK OF MY CAR.
FIRST THING MONDAY I WENT TO COURT AND OF COURSE DIDN'T GET THERE EARLY ENOUGH, AND THEY COULDN'T HELP ME WITH A DAMN THING. OUR SYSTEM SUCKS. NOT EVEN EMERGENCY CUSTODY OR ANYTHING. SUCH BS. I WENT STRAIGHT TO CAES DAYCARE AND PICKED HIM UP 3 HRS EARLY BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFIED THAT RYAN MIGHT GO AND PICK HIM UP. I INFORMED THE DAYCARE OF EVERYTHING, AND THEY SAID LEGALLY THEY COULDNT STOP HIM, BUT THEY COULD CALL ME AND STALL. I WAS TOO PARANOID LOL.
SOOOO I WENT BACK TO COURT TUESDAY AT 6:30AM, RHIANA WAS AMAZING AND CAME OVER TO WATCH CAE AT 6AM (AND WE BOTH KNOW 6AM IS NOT CHILE TIME LOL). 7 HOURS LATER, I GOT A MEDIATION DATE FOR DECEMBER FOR FULL CUSTODY AND VISITATION... SAME SCHEDULE BUT NO OVERNIGHTS UNTIL HE (AND SOMEONE ELSE) CAN PROVE TO ME HE IS A CHANGED MAN.
WHAT A WEEKEND. SUCH BS. IVE NEVER BEEN SO NERVOUS, ANXIOUS, HEARTBROKEN, AND SCARED TO DEATH IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
JUST GLAD I HAVE SO MANY AMAZING PEOPLE TO SUPPORT ME, MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM NOT IN IT COMPLETELY ALONE. SURE IS A LOT EASIER WHEN YOU HAVE AN ARMY BEHIND YOU.
RYANS PARENTS DROVE ALL THE WAY TO BIG BEAR SUNDAY TO GET HIM OUT OF JAIL. AND HIS DAD DROVE HIM BACK UP THERE MONDAY TO GET HIS TRUCK. RYAN SENT ME ABOUT 50 TEXTS SUNDAY AND THEN COMPLETELY STOPPED. HE TEXTED ME YESTERDAY THAT HE LEFT CAES MEDS ON MY DOORSTEP (WE WERE HOME, DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL HE WAS GONE). I FINALLY TEXTED HIM BACK TO TELL HIM THAT WE NEEDED TO TALK. I INFORMED HIM ABOUT COURT. HE AGREED TO HAVE THINGS ON PAPER, AND EVEN AGREED TO NO OVERNIGHTS. HOPEFULLY WE CAN REACH AN AGREEMENT SOON, SO WE DONT HAVE TO WAIT TIL DEC TO GO TO COURT.
WHAT A MESS.
[IN OTHER NEWS....]
IM GETTING MUCH BETTER AT DRIVING MY CAR! WOOT! STILL TERRIFIED OF HILLS SO I PURPOSELY TAKE ROUTES THAT DONT INVOLVE HILLS LOL.
[FOOD]
IVE BEEN TERRIBLE. PROBABLY BECAUSE OF STRESS AND NOT GOING GROCERY SHOPPING... BUT THOSE ARE NOT EXCUSES. BAD JEN!
[EXERCISE]
I WENT TO YOGA TWICE THIS WEEK... FELT SO GOOD TO CLEAR MY MIND ESP SINCE IVE HAD SOOOOO MUCH ON IT. AND YESTERDAY I WENT RUNNING. THE WEATHER WAS AMAZING, SUN WAS OUT, BREEZE WAS COOL, ... IT IS FALL! ANDDDD I DID 4 MILES! I WAS SOOOOO STOKED! EVEN WHEN I GOT DONE, I FELT LIKE I COULD HAVE GONE FURTHER! I WANT TO GO AGAIN TODAY, BUT I THINK MY KNEES WOULD HATE ME, SO ILL REFRAIN AND GO TUESDAY (MONDAY IS MY YOGA DAY).
ALRIGHTY FOLKS... THATS ABOUT ALL I GOT FOR YA...
IM SUPPOSE TO TALK TO RYAN TODAY TO WORK SOMETHING OUT. I THINK IM GOING TO GO HARD. HE CANT WALK AWAY WITH A SLAP ON THE WRIST. ESP BECAUSE HE HAS TWO DUIS ALREADY... IM SURE HE IS FACING JAIL TIME. SO SCARY. JUST HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF, THAT THESE WERE HIS CHOICES, NOT MINE. I DONT NEED TO FEEL BAD ABOUT ANY OF IT. HE HASN'T LEFT ME WITH OPTIONS... I JUST HATE THAT IT HAD TO ALL COME TO THIS.
STAND FAST MY FRIENDS.
OXOX
J
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