[LONG TIME, NO POST!]

SORRY FOLKS... WE ALL KNOW 'LIFE HAPPENS' ... BUT WOW, ITS ALMOST BEEN A MONTH SINCE IVE POSTED! SORRY!

ALRIGHTY... THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED... WEEKS AGO... I RAN 4 MILES!!! I WAS ECSTATIC (AS YOU COULD IMAGINE!). THEN TRIED RUNNING AGAIN THE FOLLOWING WEEK, AND MY KNEE WAS NOT HAVING IT, AND ONLY LET ME DO 2 MILES. ITS BEING SO TEMPERAMENTAL. ARG. SO I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN RUNNING, BUT I HAVE BEEN CONTINUING WITH THE GYM! GOT A LITTLE BEHIND LAST WEEK DUE TO BEING UBER BUSY... BUT WE ALL KNOW THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE, SO IM SHAPING UP AND KICKING IT UP A NOTCH THIS WEEK.

[RANDOM NEWS...]
I GOT A NEW CAR! SO RELIEVED TO BE DONE WITH MY JEEP! I LOVE FILLING UP AT THE GAS STATION! $40! SO NICE COMPARED TO $70! HAHA. SO ITS THE SAME YEAR AS MY JEEP (2006) AND HAS 10K MORE MILES, BUT IT SERIOUSLY FEELS BRAND NEW. JOSH DID SOME MATH AND FIGURED ID SAVE ABOUT $700 A YEAR (WITHOUT COUNTING GAS! AND I DOUBLED MY MPG! 16 TO ABOUT 27!) AND THE LENGTH OF MY LOAN IS CUT DOWN BY 2 YEARS! SO ILL BE DONE IN 36 MO. SO STOKED!

DID I MENTION IT IS A STICK? DID I MENTION I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE STICK? SO SAD TO NOTTTT DRIVE YOUR NEW CAR HOME! HAHA. SO JOSH AND I WENT DRIVING THE DAY AFTER AND I DID PRETTY GOOD. THEN HAD TO BE A BIG GIRL AND DRIVE IT 30 MILES TO WORK ALL BY MYSELF WITH NO JOSH SUPPORT! AY CARUMBA. I DEFINITELY FREAKED MYSELF OUT... WELL, I SHOULD SAY PSYCHED MYSELF OUT. I JUST GOT SO NERVOUS WITH CARS AROUND ME! I HATE LEARNING NEW THINGS AND NOT GETTING IT RIGHT AWAY. IM TERRIBLE, I HAVE NO FAITH IN MYSELF, AND GET WAY TOO NERVOUS FOR MY OWN GOOD. WHICH IS NEVER GOOD WHEN YOU ARE LEARNING SOMETHING NEW. OBVIOUSLY I JUST HAVE TO PICK MYSELF BACK UP EVERYTIME I STALL OR BURNOUT... IM STUCK WITH THE CAR, I CAN'T QUIT OR RUN AWAY LIKE A USUALLY DO. THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN REALLY GREAT FOR ME. I LOVE SHOWING MYSELF THAT I CANNNN DO STUFF. ITS A GOOD CONFIDENCE BOOST (I NEED ALL THE BOOST I CAN!). IM CONFIDENT IN THE THINGS I KNOW HOW TO DO... BUT THE THINGS THAT ARE NEW. HA! NO WAY. STILL WORKING ON IT.

I PUT THIS LIL NOTE ON MY CAR TO WARN EVERYONE... FOR STALLING AND BURNING OUT... HAHA. IF YOU CAN'T READ IT, IT SAYS "CHICK LEARNING STICK." WHAT CAN YA DO? MANY PEOPLE HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE ME, IM SURE THERE HAVE BEEN WORST LEARNERS OUT THERE.... AT LEAST I HOPE.

SO YESTERDAY I HAD TO DRIVE A 60 MILE ROUND TRIP TO WORK, AND THEN I WANTED TO GO TO THE GYM AND ALMOST DIDN'T BECAUSE I WAS TOO SCARED TO BE ON EL CAMINO REAL WITH ALL THE TRAFFIC (5PM MIND YOU) AND ALL THE STOP LIGHTS. THEN I HEAR JOSH'S WORDS IN MY HEAD AND DECIDED THAT HE'D KICK MY BUTT IF I LET MY CAR STOP ME FROM GOING PLACES. ITS THE NEW ME. DOING NEW THINGS... GETTING OVER MY FEARS AND SELF CONFIDENT ISSUES... BRING IT ON.

IM ACTUALLY DOING MUCH BETTER EVERY TIME I GET INTO THE CAR. HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF THE WEEK, ILL BE A PRO. UNTIL THEN, IM GOING TO AVOID HILLS. :D

[OTHER RANDOM NEWS]
SATURDAY AFTER BUYING MY CAR... JOSH AND I WENT TO A 70S WHITE TRASH PARTY FOR HIS NEIGHBORS (AND MY SOON TO BE NEIGHBORS) 40TH BIRTHDAY. WE HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST! AND MY TWO WONDERFUL FRIENDS, RHIANA AND VICTORIA, JOINED. WE SERIOUSLY HAD SO MUCH FUN! JOSH AND I DID PRETTY DAMN GOOD WITH THE CORNHOLE TOURNAMENT (MUST HAVE BEEN THE BEER MUA HA HA). HERES SOME PICTURES...

 WE SERIOUSLY HAD SO MUCH FUN. CHRIS AND LISA WENT ALL OUT. THE HAD A HILLBILLY HOT TUB... PICKUP TRUCK WITH A TARP FILLED WITH WATER (HAHA :D) AND THEY EVEN HAD A BAND, KFC CATERED (WHATS MORE WHITE TRASH THAN THAT!?), TWO KEGS, AND AN ENTIRE CORNHOLE TOURNAMENT (3 COURTS) AND ABOUT 24 TEAMS! EVERYTHING WAS PRETTY FREAKIN EPIC. I HAVEN'T  BEEN TO TONS OF THEME PARTIES, BUT HOLY MOLY THIS WAS SERIOUSLY EPIC!

ALRIGHTY, BACK TO THE BLOG...
WELL, I DID SAY IT IS A BLOG ABOUT MY LIFE... SO I GUESS I DONT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY CAR RANT ;D

[FOOD]
IVE BEEN SLACKING ON MY GOOD FOOD LATELY... PROBABLY BECAUSE I SLACKED ON EXERCISE THE LATTER PART OF LAST WEEK. I FEEL LIKE THEY REALLY DO GO HAND AND HAND. SO IM GOING TO IMPROVE THAT THIS WEEK.

[GYM]
WENT TO YOGA YESTERDAY, AND I HAVE TO SAY IT KINDA KICKED MY BUTT. WE DID MORE 'FLOW' YOGA AND I DEFINITELY BROKE A SWEAT! WOOT! IT WAS AWESOME! YOGA ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL SO GREAT! EVEN IF ITS JUST MENTALLY. I THINK IT PUT ME IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND ON MY WAY HOME... THE 10 MILES WITH MY NEW CAR WAS PRETTY DANG FLAWLESS! LOL. MORE YOGA BEFORE DRIVING. :D TODAY IS A NEW DAY... I THINK I MIGHT ATTEMPT A RUN. WISH ME LUCK! MY LAST ONE DID NOT GO WELL AT ALL. I THINK I MIGHT JUST STICK TO TWO MILES FOR A WEEK OR TWO AND WORK UP TO A NEW GOAL... NEED TO BE NICE TO MY KNEES SO THEY WILL RETURN THE FAVOR AND BE NICE TO ME :D


ALRIGHTY FOLKS... I THINK THATS ABOUT ALL I HAVE TO SAY THIS MORNING....
HOPE ALL IS WELL!

OXOX
J

[QUICKY]

SO I RAN YESTERDAY. I DID A LITTLE OVER 2 MILES!!! BUT WHOS COUNTING RIGHT? HAHA. ME! SO STOKED! HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF THE MONTH I HOPE TO BE BACK UP TO 3-4 MILES AND UP FROM THERE! SO EXCITED! IT WAS RATHER WARM YESTERDAY, BUT I DID PRETTY DARN GOOD! I WAS SO SAD THAT I WAS SO TIRED DURING/AFTER... BUT I HAVE TO REMEMBER IM STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING AND TO BE PATIENT. SO ILL TRY TO STICK TO MY EXCITEMENT! YAYYYY!
I ALSO FORGOT ABOUT HOW MUCH BEING OUTDOORS MEANS TO ME! I WAS ON CLOUD NINE RUNNING IN THE SUNSHINE, WIND, WATCHING THE OCEAN.... AWWW ITS GOOD TO BE ALIVE!

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND.... (YES YOU DO HAVE TWO)
I WENT TO THE GYM TODAY AND REALIZED I HAD MISSED IT! SO BETWEEN MISSING RUNNING OUTSIDE, AND MISSING THE GYM AFTER A BUSY NO WORKOUT WEEKEND... I FEEL AS IF I AM FINALLY IN A ROUTINE AND IM HOOKED AGAIN ;D I KNEW ID COME AROUND MUA HA HA
SO AT THE GYM I DID ABOUT 12 MINUTES ON THE ROW MACHINE (CAN'T BELIEVE I USE TO DO 20 MIN! MY ARMS ARE ALREADY SORE!) THEN I MOVED ON TO FREE WEIGHTS. IM TRYING TO STRAY AWAY FROM THE MACHINES AT THE GYM BECAUSE THEY ONLY WORK CERTAIN MUSCLES. WHEN YOU USE FREE WEIGHTS YOU USE ALL OF THOSE STABILIZER MUSCLES THAT NORMALLY WOULDN'T GET USED ON A MACHINE. I DID BICEPS, TRICEPS, AND DELTOIDS. MY ARMS ALREADY FEEL IT. ITS A GOOD SORE, AT LEAST I KNOW IM ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING! HAHA. THEN I MOVED ONTO MY SWIMMING. THIS IS WHERE I FELT IT THE MOST. BETWEEN MY RUN YESTERDAY, ROWING, AND FREE WEIGHTS... MY ARMS AND LEGS WERE MADE OF LEAD. I LOOKED AND FELT LIKE A DROWNING FISH (DO FISH DROWN?), BUT STILL MANAGED 20 MIN.

I KNOW THIS STRENGTH TRAINING WILL GET EASIER.... BUT WOWWY! APPARENTLY LIFTING A 25LB TODDLER MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY WAS ENOUGH OF A WORKOUT. APPARENTLY NOT!

SPEAKING OF TODDLERS.... GUESSSSSS WHAT?! I HAVE GREAT NEWS! I DROPPED CAE OFF AT THE GYM DAYCARE FOR THE SECOND TIME AND WHEN I WENT TO GO GET HIM ABOUT AN HOUR 15 MIN LATER.... THE LADY SAID HE DIDN'T CRY AT ALL AND PLAYED THE WHOLE TIME!!!! YAYAYYAYAYAYYYYYYY! I LOVE IT! IM SO EXCITED! I KNEW REGARDLESS OR NOT OF CRYING, I WAS GOING TO DO MY WORKOUT AND CONTINUE TO BRING HIM. I CAN'T LET HAVING A CHILD GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO NOT WORKOUT. BUT! THE FACT THAT HE HAS FUN TOO! IS AMAZING! I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT LEAVING HIM AND WE BOTH GET A WORKOUT!

IM GETTING EXCITED :D I FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN. HOPEFULLY AFTER A COUPLE OF WEEKS ILL BE A MORE TONED VERSION OF MYSELF (ONE CAN HOPE!).

SORRY FOR THE SHORT ENTRY!
HOPE ALL IS WELL!
J

[ITS GROOVY, BABY]

[LAST WEEK]
CAE DID GREAT WHEN I DROPPED HIM OFF AT THE KIDS CLUB AT LA FITNESS. I THOUGH HE WOULD HAVE FREAKED WHEN I LEFT, BUT HE DID GREAT. THE LADY SAID HE FREAKED IN THE MIDDLE AND CRIED, SO SHE WALKED AROUND WITH HIM FOR A LITTLE WHILE. BUT WHEN I WENT TO GET HIM AN HOUR LATER HE WAS BUSY AT THE JUNGLE GYM HAHA. ALAS, HE DID RUN TO ME CRYING LIKE 'WHY DID YOU LEAVEEEE MEEE?!' IM HOPING IT WAS JUST THE TIMING OF EVERYTHING (TIRED/DINNER TIME COMBO MAKES FOR ONE GRUMPY IRRITABLE BOY).

[FITNESS ASSESSMENT]
WENT AWESOME . THE LITTLE BODY FAT MACHINE SAID I WAS 19%, NOT THE 27% IT SAID LAST WEEK... I WOULD LOVE TO DO IT AGAIN TO SEE IF ONE OF THOSE NUMBERS WAS A FLUKE... BUTTTT I DONT WANT TO PRESS MY CHANCES. 19% SOUNDS AWESOME HAHA. THE WORKOUT I GOT FROM THE TRAINER WAS AWESOME. A REAL EYE  OPENER ON HOW MUCH I NEED TO WORK ON STRENGTH TRAINING. THE TWO DAYS AFTER I COULDN'T LAUGH, COUGH, SNEEZE, OR LIFT MY ARMS WITHOUT BEING IN PAIN HAHA. SOOOO YES, NEW GOALS IN THAT AREA FOR SURE!

[WEEKEND]
I HAD AN AWESOME WORKOUT GROOVE GOING LAST WEEK. I DEFINITELY SLACKED FROM FRIDAY ON. BAD JEN!
I WAS SOOOOO SORE FROM THURSDAY THAT I SLACKED FRIDAY AFTER WORK. AND THIS WEEKEND WAS JUST TOO BUSY : / (I ALWAYS MESS UP ON WEEKENDS! ARG!)
I KNOW. I KNOW. I DIDN'T HAVE AN EXCUSE. I NEED TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT THIS WEEK TO GET BACK INTO MY GROOVE. ITS HARD BECAUSE JOSH'S CAR ISN'T RUNNING SO ONE CAR BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WITH TWO SCHEDULES SOMETIMES MAKES THINGS DIFFICULT. SO TODAY I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO RUN INSTEAD OF THE GYM BECAUSE HE HAS TO TUTOR. GYM DEFINITELY TOMORROW. NO GYM THURSDAY... ARG (WHICH IM SUPER SAD ABOUT BECAUSE THAT WAS A YOGA DAY! I MISSED IT THURSDAY BECAUSE OF MY FITNESS ASSESSMENT, THEN NO CLASS MONDAY BECAUSE OF LABOR DAY.... NEXT MONDAY IT IS!).

[IN OTHER NEWS...]
JOSH AND I LOOKED AT MY FINANCES. NEVER FUN, BUT DEFINITELY NECESSARY. ITS HARD BECAUSE I DONT FEEL LIKE IM A CRAZY SHOPPER OR SPEND MY MONEY ON DRUGS OR ANYTHING.... ITS REALLY JUST THAT I HAVE A LOT OF BILLS, IM FEEDING 3 PEOPLE, AND MY CAR SUCKS GAS.

THE PLAN...
I LITERALLY CANNOT EAT OUT. I USUALLY DO ABOUT 3 TIMES A MONTH... BUT I REALLY SHOULD JUST HAVE A "BROKE" MENTALITY (WHICH I ALREADY DO.... HAHA.)
NEXT STEP:
GET RID OF MY CAR :o(  I STILL OWE QUITE A HANDFUL ON IT, IT USES WAY TOO MUCH GAS FOR THE AMT I DRIVE IT. AND A LOT OF MY LIGHTS HAVE BEEN COMING ON (TRACTION CONTROL, CHECK ENGINE, AIRBAG...) AND I STILL HAVE MY UNSOLVED VACUUM LEAK (WHICH IN THEORY SHOULD BE CHEAP TO FIX... BUT EXPENSIVE IN LABOR TO FINDDD IT). JOSH THINKS IT MIGHT JUST GO DOWN HILL FAST. I BELIEVE HIM. WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE I LOVEEE MY JEEP.
SO YEAH. YOU KNOW ME AND CARS. IM QUITE OBSESSED. SO OF COURSE IT IS ALL I AM THINKING OF LATELY. I WANT SOMETHING PRETTY CHEAP (IF I WANT TO SAVE ON A CAR I MIGHT AS WELL CUT COST IN THREE AREAS: AMT FINANCED, GAS, AND INSURANCE, INSTEAD OF JUST CUTTING COST IN GAS.
IM THINKING SUBARU IMPREZA WAGON. WE SHALL SEE, DEPENDING IF I FIND ONE I LIKE IN MY PRICE RANGE WITH A DECENT AMOUNT OF MILES. (WISH ME LUCK!).

ALRIGHTY I GUESS THATS ALL I HAVE FOLKS. ILL LET YOU KNOW HOW THIS WEEK STARTS OFF. I THINK BY THE END OF THE WEEK I MIGHT WEIGH MYSELF TO SEE IF IVE MADE ANY PROGRESS...

THANKS FOR LISTENING,
J

[CROSS YOUR FINGERS]

I FEEL LIKE I AM ON A ROLL.

IVE BEEN DRINKING ALL MY WATER... AND DONT FEEL LIKE A FULL WATER BALLOON ANYMORE. I ALSO FIND THAT ONCE I START DRINKING MY WATER FOR THE DAY, I BECOME REALLY THRISTY AND ITS NOT AS HARD TO DRINK ALL MY WATER WITHOUT SPENDING MOST OF MY DAY IN THE BATHROOM (SORRY IF ITS TMI).

IVE ALSO WORKED OUT EVERYDAY THIS WEEK. GRANTED ITS ONLY WEDNESDAY MORNING, BUT IM ALSO GOING TO THE GYM TODAY. :D

WHICH BRINGS ME TO WHY YOU ARE CROSSING YOUR FINGERS...

LA FITNESS HAS A KIDS ZONE... ITS ONLY $10 A MONTH FOR UNLIMITED. SUCH AN AWESOME DEAL! SO OF COURSE I ENROLLED FOR IT. BUT TODAY IS GOING TO BE THE FIRST TIME I USE IT. IM REALLY HOPING CAE DOESN'T FREAK. HES SO FUNNY SOMETIMES, HE'LL CRY BECAUSE IM LEAVING, BUT SOMETIMES HE'LL CRY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO LEAVE. HOPING THERE IS ENOUGH TO DISTRACT HIM SO HE'S A HAPPY CAMPER WHILE I GET MY SWEAT ON. THE PEOPLE WILL BE NEW, AND THE SURROUNDINGS WILL BE NEW. HOPEFULLY IT GOES WELL.

TODAY I PLAN ON PUMPING SOME IRON AND SWIMMING. TOTALLY STOKED. ESP ABOUT MY HOT PINK SWIM CAP (YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT!) HAHA.

IM SUPER GLAD THAT IM IN BETTER SPIRITS. IM STARTING TO FEE LIKE MYSELF AGAIN. YAY ENDORPHINES!

[IN OTHER NEWS]
TYLER AGREED TO MOVE WITH US TO LEUCADIA! SO STOKED! IVE LOVEDDDDD LIVING WITH MY BROTHER. PROBABLY BECAUSE BETWEEN COLLEGE AND THEN LIVING IN DIFFERENT CITIES, I NEVER REALLY GOT TO SEE HIM. SO IM ALWAYS STOKED TO SEE HIM WHEN HE GETS HOME. I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE, GETTING EXCITED, TOO BAD ITS STILL ABOUT A MONTH AND A HALF AWAY.... BREATHEEEEE ITLL ALWAYS GET HERE FASTER THAN YOU THINK IT WILL (RIGHT?)

ANDDDD WE WENT TO LOOK AT CAELUMS NEW SCHOOL (LEUCADIA CHILDRENS SCHOOL) YESTERDAY, AND IT WAS FANTASTIC. CAE CRIED WHEN WE LEFT HAHA.

CAE ALSO GOT HAIR CUT NUMBER 2 YESTERDAY. HE LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE MAN. ILL HAVE TO POST A PICTURE LATER TODAY. :D


THINGS ARE ON THE UPSWING IN MY LIFE, FINALLY ALMOST OUT OF MY RUT. HOPE YOU ARE ALL SUPER AWESOME OUT THERE IN BLOG LAND OXOX
J
HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING WELL!

[YOGI BEAR]

I <3 YOGAAAAA!
I USE TO GO TO YOGA ONCE A WEEK. SOMETIMES ID RUN BEFOREHAND... BEST COMBO EVER! RUN, THEN STRETCH FOR AN HOUR!? YES PLEASE! :D THE LADY WHO INSTRUCTED US WAS A WOMAN I WORKED WITH. ATTENDANCE FELL, SO SHE STOPPED DOING YOGA IN THE PARK. CORRECTION: FREE YOGA IN THE PARK. SO I OBVIOUSLY HAD GOTTEN USE TO HER STYLE AND THE ATMOSPHERE. I DIDN'T WANT TO JOIN A YOGA STUDIO WITH SOME INSTRUCTOR I MIGHT NOT LIKE. THAT AND AT THE TIME, I WAS WAYYYY MORE FOCUSED ON RUNNING.
THEN AFTER MY KNEE WAS TO WEAK TO RUN ON, I CONSIDERED JOINING A YOGA STUDIO, BUT IT WAS JUST TOO EXPENSIVE FOR SOMETHING I WANTED TO DO REGULARLY.
SOOOOOO NOW THAT IM A GYM MEMBER AND HAVE A "YES (WO)MAN" STATE OF MIND... I HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE USE OF THEIR CLASSES. NORMALLY I WOULDN'T DREAM OF DOING THIS. IM A REBEL, I ENJOY DOING MY OWN THING, AND PUSHING MYSELF (WHICH DOES AND DOESN'T WORK HAHA). BUT! BECAUSE THIS IS THE NEW JEN.... I TOOK A YOGA CLASS LAST NIGHT! GO ME! I WAS SO SCARED. WELL, NOT TOO SCARED, BUT NERVOUS. WASN'T SURE IF ID LIKE THE INSTRUCTOR... NOT SURE IF ID REMEMBER ALL THE MOVES, OR IF EVER INSTRUCTOR STICKS TO THE SAME GENERAL MOVES. BUT I DID IT! AND LOVED IT! SO STOKED :D FELT GREAT AFTER, AND IM STOKED. THE INSTRUCTOR WAS HILARIOUS, I ENJOYED HIS RANDOM JOKES ABOUT HOW CERTAIN MOVES WOULD HELP YOUR EYESIGHT AND MOVE YOUR HANDS BACK 1 3/8 INCHES, NO HOW ABOUT 7 6/13 INCHES. SO RANDOM. HE KEPT TELLING EVERYONE TO SMILE. WHICH WAS RIDICULOUS, AND MADE ME SMILE JUST BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY HAHA. I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF, SO HAPPY I GOT THE COURAGE TO GO (EVEN IF I DID MAKE AN ASS OUT OF MYSELF).

ALRIGHTY.... A SHORT TID BIT THIS FINE TUESDAY MORNING. LOTS OF ERRANDS THIS MORNING (INCLUDING LOOKING AT A NEW SCHOOL FOR CAE WHEN I MOVE TO ENCINITAS).

DAY 5 OF ALL MY WATER. FEEL GREAT! STOKED!

TAKE CARE YA'LL OXOX
J

[JUST KEEP SWIMMING]

SO I AM OFFICIALLY A PROUD GYM MEMBER AT LA FITNESS!

YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW EXCITED, HAPPY, MOTIVATED, STOKED I WAS AFTER MY WORKOUT YESTERDAY. I RAN A MILE, DID A COUPLE WEIGHT MACHINES (GET MY QUADS STRONGER!) AND THEN HOPPED IN THE POOL. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, THE POOL WAS MY MAIN MOTIVATION FOR JOINING A GYM. I WAS SO EXCITED I COULDNT WAIT TO JUMP IN! THE BEST PART WAS IT WASN'T CROWDED! I PICKED A LANE (ALL OF THEM WERE DOUBLED UP) SO I HAD TO GET MY NERVE TO ASK TO SHARE. A NICE MIDAGED WOMAN WHO WENT SLOW. PERFECTTTTT. IM A FAST SWIMMER. THE HARD PART IS I ALWAYS WANT TO GO FAST, BUT THEN I DONT LAST LONG. SO IT WAS GREAT TO SHARE A LANE AND JUST CRUISE; ESP FOR MY FIRST TIME BACK IN THE WATER (SWIM CAP AND ALL!) SINCE COLLEGE(!). LA FITNESS HAS A SALT WATER POOL, WHICH IS SUPER WEIRD AND SUPER COOL. THE TIP OF MY TONGUE FELT FUNNY AT THE END OF MY 20 MINS. I KNOW, I KNOW, I ONLY LASTED 20 MIN, BUT IM JUST TELLING MYSELF THAT THIS IS ALL A JOURNEY AND IM STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING AGAIN. BABY STEPS. I GOT THIS.

SPEAKING OF STARTING POINTS... WHEN I SIGNED UP I WAS OFFERED TO DO A BODY FAT CALCULATION... I WAS TERRIFIED. BUT I DID IT ANYWAYS. I HAD TO USE THEM AT CURVES AND I THINK MY BEST % WAS 17.2 (IN HIGH SCHOOL MIND YOU!) AND YESTERDAY I WAS 27.7%. I WAS DEVESTATED. AGAIN, IM PUTTING MY EGO ASIDE AND JUST MOVING FORWARD. THATS ALL YOU CAN DO SOMETIMES. IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER I GUESS! AFTER SEEING THAT PERCENTAGE AND TAKING THOSE PICTURES YESTERDAY IM PRETTY DAMN DETERMINED TO GET MY LIFE BACK AND MY BODY BACK.

NORMALLY ID DECLINE TO USE THE BODY FAT CALCULATOR AND A FREE FITNESS EVALUATION... THIS TIME I DIDN'T. ITS LIKE THE MOVIE 'YES MAN' I SHOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THESE THINGS WHILE I CAN. MOST OF THE TIME I DONT DO THINGS BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO SEEM DUMB, WEAK, SILLY WHATEVER. I HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT IM PROBABLY AVERAGE, AND THEY SEE PEOPLE IN WORSE SHAPE THAN ME. ITS ALL WORKING TOWARDS THE GREATER GOAL. SO WHAT IF I CAN'T BENCH MY BODY WEIGHT? I NEED TO FIND SOME SELF CONFIDENCE... I KNOW ILL GET IT ALONG THE WAY. BUT EVEN IN GOOD SHAPE I FEEL LIKE I WOULD HAVE DECLINED IT. ITS DEEPER THAN JUST LOOKING SILLY, I REALLY FEEL LIKE I NEED TO GET OVER THESE SELF CONFIDENCE/ESTEEM ISSUES. IVE BEEN CARRYING THEM AROUND FOR WAY TOO LONG! NEW JEN? YES, LETS PLAY. YES (WO)MAN!
IM SORE TODAY, A GOOD SORE. JUST ENOUGH WHERE I KNOW I WORKED OUT. I MISS BEING SORE (AS STRANGE AS IT SOUNDS). IM SUPER EXCITED TO SWIM AGAIN! I FEEL LIKE MY HEAD IS IN THE GAME THIS TIME. BRING IT ON.

WISH ME LUCK!
XOXO
J

P.S. GOING ON DAY 4 OF ALL MY REQUIRED WATER. STOKED. I GOT THIS! THANKS FOR EVERYONES SUPPORT, ENCOURAGEMENT, AND MOTIVATION! YOU GUYS ROCK!

[LISTEN TO NIKE]

I WORKED AT CURVES FOR WOMEN FOR ALMOST 4 YEARS. THE ONE I WORKED AT DURING HIGH SCHOOL AND SUMMERS AWAY FROM COLLEGE WAS ONE OF THE BEST JOBS IVE EVER HAD. WELL, LETS SAY FAVORITE JOB. MY BOSS WAS AMAZINGGGGG. SERIOUSLY, SHE WAS JUST ALWAYS SUPER HAPPY, MOTIVATING, KNEW HER BUSINESS, LOVED THE MEMBERS... YOU NAME IT, EVERYTHING YOU THINK SOMEONE WHO WOULD OWN A GYM SHOULD BE. ANYWAYS, I REMEMBER HER SAYING THIS TO A MEMBER AND ITS STUCK WITH ME EVER SINCE... "YOU HAVE TO MAKE FITNESS A PRIORITY." SHE WAS SOOOOO RIGHT! IF YOU DONT MAKE IT A PRIORITY, IT WILL ALWAYS BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU CAN BE PUT OFF AND "DONE TOMORROW."

I FEEL LIKE I HAVE LET EXERCISE NOT BE A PRIORITY ANYMORE. EVER SINCE I HURT MY KNEE AND HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO MY 6-8 MILE RUNS ABOUT 3 TIMES A WEEK, IVE BEEN SUPER DEPRESSED AND UNWILLING TO TRY SOMETHING NEW. IVE BEEN EXCITED TO TRY SOMETHING NEW, BUT I HAVEN'T GONE OUT THERE AND DONE IT YET. I BELIEVE WE ARE ALL CREATURES OF HABIT. I LOVE RUNNING, SO I RUN. NOW THAT I CAN'T RUN, IM KINDA FREAKING OUT AND HESITANT TO BE HARDCORE IN A NEW SPORT.

IM CHANGING ALL OF THIS TODAY. I FINALLY FOUND A GYM. I DONT RECALL IF I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE WHOLE YMCA SITUATION... BUT HERES A RECAP... SIGNED UP BECAUSE CHILDCARE WAS "FREE" ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT IT WASNT FREE AT THE PARTICULAR YMCA I SIGNED UP AT, SO I CANCELLED. WAS SUPER DEPRESSED AFTER THAT. WELL A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO I JUST TOLD MYSELF TO FIND A GYM, EVEN IF I JUST WENT ON THE DAYS THAT RYAN HAD CAELUM. OF COURSE THE 2 24HR FITNESSES THAT I LOOKED INTO IN ENCINITAS (MY FUTURE HOME) DIDN'T HAVE POOLS. BOO. SO I LOOKED INTO LA FITNESS, AND THIS ONE HAD A POOL! YAY! ANDDDD  THEY HAVE UNLIMITED CHILDCARE FOR ONLY AN EXTRA $10 A MONTH! SO STOKED! I AM SIGNING UP TODAY! I COULDN'T BE MORE EXCITED. ITS A LITTLE FAR FROM MY APT NOW, BUT IM NOT GOING TO LET THAT STOP ME NOW.

IVE LET FITNESS SLIDE. IVE BEEN EATING BAD. AND OBVIOUSLY THOSE ARE A BAD COMBO. A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO I FINALLY HIT MY GOAL WEIGHT, ACTUALLY I PASSED IT BY 2 LBS. 123LBS. I HAVEN'T BEEN THAT SMALL SINCE FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL! AND NOW I'M TERRIFIED TO LOOK AT THE SCALE, I'M PROBABLY UP TO MY BODY'S 'HAPPY WEIGHT' OF AROUND 130-132... TEN POUNDS! UNACCEPTABLE. I'M DISGUSTED. OBVIOUSLY MY HAPPY WEIGHT AND MY BODYS HAPPY WEIGHT IS NOT THE SAME. I JUST FEEL GOOD IN A BATHING SUIT AT AROUND 125. THAT'S MY GOAL (AGAIN).

I NEED TO FIND THAT DRIVE AND MOTIVATION I LOST SOMEWHERE. I NEED TO GET EXCITED ABOUT BUILDING MY QUAD MUSCLES TO GET MY KNEE BACK IN ORDER. I NEED TO GET STOKED ABOUT SWIMMING (WHICH I AM, BUT I THINK IM GOING TO HAVE A RUDE AWAKENING THAT I CANT DO AS MANY LAPS AS ID LIKE TO DO.... BABY STEPS JEN, BABY STEPS).

I HAVE A BIG EGO WHEN IT COMES TO FITNESS. I LOVEEEEE SAYING "I RAN 16 MILES TODAY" AND JUST LOOKING AT THE PERSONS JAW DROP. I CAN'T DO THAT ANYMORE AND IT KILLS ME. IM STOKED TO RUN 1 MILE WITHOUT PAIN. I NEED TO GET OVER MY BIG EGO AND REMEMBER TO BE EXCITED ABOUT THE LITTLE GOALS AND NOT GET DOWN ON MYSELF.

IM AWESOME AT JUSTIFYING JUST ABOUT ANYTHING. EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES. I NEED TO STOP. BECOME SERIOUS. AND START MAKING FITNESS AND HEALTHY EATING A PRIORITY. FITNESS FIRST I SUPPOSE. IM USUALLY THE TYPE YOU HATE... THE ONES THAT CAN EAT ANYTHING, JUST BECAUSE THEY EXERCISE A LOT. I WANT TO BE THAT AGAIN. I LOVE MY FOOD. BUT THEN AGAIN I FIND WHEN I START WORKING OUT I DON'T WANT ALL THE BAD STUFF. STILL FUN TO SPLURGE SOMETIMES ;D


THANK YOU JEN (NOT ME, MY OTHER HALF) FOR BEING SUCH AN INSPIRATION! I USE CAELUM AS AN EXCUSE A LOT. JEN HAS TWO STEP KIDS... AND STILL WORKS OUT EVERYDAY. I USE BEING TIRED FROM WORK... JEN HAS HARD HOURS AND STILL WORKS OUT. AND NOT HAVING TIME? NO. I COULD WAKE UP EARLIER, I COULD WORKOUT AFTER CAE GOES TO BED. I CHOOSE NOT TO. HEALTHY LIVING/WORKING OUT IS A CHOICE. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO DO IT, OR YOU CAN CHOOSE NOT TO. OBVIOUSLY JEN IS DOING IT ALL RIGHT.

LOSING WEIGHT... NO. HAVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE IS HARD WORK. NO ONE EVER SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE EASY. FITNESS IS NOT FOR PANSIES. IT TAKES DEDICATION, A STRONG WILL, AND DETERMINATION TO DEFEAT TEMPATIONS AND MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY AGAIN. I FEEL LIKE MOST WOMEN (ESP MOMS) TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE AROUND THEM FIRST, AND PUT THEMSELVES LAST. I AM A "VICTIM" OF THIS STATE OF MIND. I HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT IF IM HAPPY THEN EVERYTHING AROUND ME SEEMS HAPPY TOO!

NO MORE! IM COMING FIRST THIS TIME. IF I TAKE A DIFFERENT ROUTE HOME FROM WORK, MY GYM IS ON THE WAY. I DONT HAVE AN EXCUSE THIS TIME. TAKE THAT, ... ME!

I DID TOOK SOME 'BEFORE' TYPE PICTURES. TALK ABOUT MOTIVATION. WITHOUT SUCKING IT IN AND ALL. I THINK ITLL BE THE PERFECT MOTIVATION TO KICK MY OWN BUTT. ANDDDD WHEN I GET BACK TO THE WEIGHT I WANT TO BE, ITLL BE NICE TO LOOK BACK AND SEE THE PROGRESS. MUCH LIKE JEN (MY OTHER HALF) DID WITH HER JOURNEY. SEEING IS BELIEVING. THANKS JEN FOR ALL THE MOTIVATION! PS MAYBE ILL BE BRAVE ENOUGH LIKE YOU TO POST BEFORE/AFTER PICTURES IN A MONTH OR TWO... ;D
AS NIKE SAYS: JUST DO IT.