[JUST KEEP SWIMMING]

SO I AM OFFICIALLY A PROUD GYM MEMBER AT LA FITNESS!

YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW EXCITED, HAPPY, MOTIVATED, STOKED I WAS AFTER MY WORKOUT YESTERDAY. I RAN A MILE, DID A COUPLE WEIGHT MACHINES (GET MY QUADS STRONGER!) AND THEN HOPPED IN THE POOL. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, THE POOL WAS MY MAIN MOTIVATION FOR JOINING A GYM. I WAS SO EXCITED I COULDNT WAIT TO JUMP IN! THE BEST PART WAS IT WASN'T CROWDED! I PICKED A LANE (ALL OF THEM WERE DOUBLED UP) SO I HAD TO GET MY NERVE TO ASK TO SHARE. A NICE MIDAGED WOMAN WHO WENT SLOW. PERFECTTTTT. IM A FAST SWIMMER. THE HARD PART IS I ALWAYS WANT TO GO FAST, BUT THEN I DONT LAST LONG. SO IT WAS GREAT TO SHARE A LANE AND JUST CRUISE; ESP FOR MY FIRST TIME BACK IN THE WATER (SWIM CAP AND ALL!) SINCE COLLEGE(!). LA FITNESS HAS A SALT WATER POOL, WHICH IS SUPER WEIRD AND SUPER COOL. THE TIP OF MY TONGUE FELT FUNNY AT THE END OF MY 20 MINS. I KNOW, I KNOW, I ONLY LASTED 20 MIN, BUT IM JUST TELLING MYSELF THAT THIS IS ALL A JOURNEY AND IM STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING AGAIN. BABY STEPS. I GOT THIS.

SPEAKING OF STARTING POINTS... WHEN I SIGNED UP I WAS OFFERED TO DO A BODY FAT CALCULATION... I WAS TERRIFIED. BUT I DID IT ANYWAYS. I HAD TO USE THEM AT CURVES AND I THINK MY BEST % WAS 17.2 (IN HIGH SCHOOL MIND YOU!) AND YESTERDAY I WAS 27.7%. I WAS DEVESTATED. AGAIN, IM PUTTING MY EGO ASIDE AND JUST MOVING FORWARD. THATS ALL YOU CAN DO SOMETIMES. IT CAN ONLY GET BETTER I GUESS! AFTER SEEING THAT PERCENTAGE AND TAKING THOSE PICTURES YESTERDAY IM PRETTY DAMN DETERMINED TO GET MY LIFE BACK AND MY BODY BACK.

NORMALLY ID DECLINE TO USE THE BODY FAT CALCULATOR AND A FREE FITNESS EVALUATION... THIS TIME I DIDN'T. ITS LIKE THE MOVIE 'YES MAN' I SHOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THESE THINGS WHILE I CAN. MOST OF THE TIME I DONT DO THINGS BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO SEEM DUMB, WEAK, SILLY WHATEVER. I HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT IM PROBABLY AVERAGE, AND THEY SEE PEOPLE IN WORSE SHAPE THAN ME. ITS ALL WORKING TOWARDS THE GREATER GOAL. SO WHAT IF I CAN'T BENCH MY BODY WEIGHT? I NEED TO FIND SOME SELF CONFIDENCE... I KNOW ILL GET IT ALONG THE WAY. BUT EVEN IN GOOD SHAPE I FEEL LIKE I WOULD HAVE DECLINED IT. ITS DEEPER THAN JUST LOOKING SILLY, I REALLY FEEL LIKE I NEED TO GET OVER THESE SELF CONFIDENCE/ESTEEM ISSUES. IVE BEEN CARRYING THEM AROUND FOR WAY TOO LONG! NEW JEN? YES, LETS PLAY. YES (WO)MAN!
IM SORE TODAY, A GOOD SORE. JUST ENOUGH WHERE I KNOW I WORKED OUT. I MISS BEING SORE (AS STRANGE AS IT SOUNDS). IM SUPER EXCITED TO SWIM AGAIN! I FEEL LIKE MY HEAD IS IN THE GAME THIS TIME. BRING IT ON.

WISH ME LUCK!
XOXO
J

P.S. GOING ON DAY 4 OF ALL MY REQUIRED WATER. STOKED. I GOT THIS! THANKS FOR EVERYONES SUPPORT, ENCOURAGEMENT, AND MOTIVATION! YOU GUYS ROCK!